


A Star To Guide Me Home

by pandorabox82



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2018-09-26 01:38:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 29,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9856262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorabox82/pseuds/pandorabox82
Summary: At the end of the Dominion War, Kate Pulaski decides that it is high time she go to Lwaxana. However, things are never quite as simple as they appear. (Sequel to The Cold Light of the Stars)





	1. Chapter 1

Kate felt a cold wave of relief sweep through her body as she listened to Captain Clark announce the end of the Dominion War. Finally, the long nightmare was over, and she could get back to a more normal routine. She had lost far too many friends in the last few months, and she never wanted to experience that again.

Sagging down onto an empty bed, she buried her face in her hands and allowed herself a moment of private grief, a luxury she was loathe to indulge in very often. And then, her mind wandered to Lwaxana. They hadn't spoken in close to four months, not since the Founders had taken control over Betazed, and Kate found herself longing to hear her lover's voice once more.

As she staggered to her feet, needing to put a closed door between her grief and her Sickbay, an ecstatic ensign burst into the room, a large grin on her face. "Did you hear the news? We're going home! To Earth!"

Kate frowned as she shook her head. "Is everyone being recalled?" she asked as she swiped away a few errant tears, hoping the woman hadn't noticed them.

"Just the deep space vessels like us. We'll be docking at Deep Space Nine to pick up some new crew and then on to Earth. Oh, I can't wait to see my parents again! They've been so worried about me!" The young woman quickly hugged Kate before skipping from the room, jubilance exploding from every inch of her body.

Kate slowly made her way over to her office and shut herself inside, trying not to think about the spot near the door where she and Lwaxana had kissed so passionately. Such memories would only cause her pain, and she needed to put on a brave face at this point.

Her comm badge chirped, and she touched it, wondering who needed her. "Pulaski here."

"Doctor! I need you here on the bridge. We're being hailed by Deep Space Nine, and I was told to have my CMO on hand."

She groaned lowly, not particularly wanting to put in an appearance, yet knowing she had to. "Do I have to change into my dress uniform?" she asked, trying to stall for time.

"No, there's no need for that. Just get down here as soon as possible." The comm link cut off, and she sighed a little before standing up and smoothing her uniform across her hips. There was nothing to be done about the lines on her face, and so she drew in another deep breath as she stepped out of sickbay and made her way to the bridge.

When she got there, a familiar face was on screen, and she smiled in relief to see Worf speaking with her captain. "Ah, Doctor Pulaski, it is with great pleasure that I acknowledge your survival. I look forward to seeing you aboard Deep Space Nine and catching up on the last few years."

"I look forward to that as well, Commander Worf," she replied before taking a seat in her chair as she listened to Worf and her captain discuss how the transfers on her ship were going to go. There wasn't much to interest her, until she heard Worf mention that he would be taking some shore leave, in order to leave the dust of the war behind him.

Catching his eye, she gave him a questioning smile, an expression that she hoped he remembered. When he gave her a small nod in return, she knew that he would be on her side, no matter what she asked of him. Finally, the captain signed off, and Kate quickly stood, hurrying over to her side. "Yes, Doctor Pulaski?"

"I need to talk with you in your ready room," she replied, looking around the room at her colleagues. This was not something she wished to discuss within earshot of them, since there wasn't really anyone who had understood her relationship with the brash ambassador. The captain seemed to know exactly what she was thinking, since she gave Kate a tight nod before stalking off to the room. "I'm taking shore leave as well, once we reach the station."

"Absolutely not. The Federation needs all doctors available to deal with the fall out of the war. You are needed."

"Not when my ship is going back to Earth for refurbishment. My crew will be fine with whatever personnel that board at Deep Space Nine. I have obligations that I must fulfill."

"You're just going to see your lover."

The bitter words stung, and Kate struggled to keep from crying once more that day as she coolly regarded the captain. "I am. And either you let me use my shore leave, or I resign from Starfleet, effective immediately. I rather doubt that, with their need of trained medical personnel, that would be taken lightly."

The woman regarded her balefully, and Kate could almost see the wheels turning in her mind. It would be a disgrace for her, if she had to explain exactly why a decorated medical officer was resigning her commission, and that was the one bargaining chip that Kate would play to her advantage. "And how long are you looking to take?"

"At least six months, if not a year. As I'm certain you're aware, Betazed was an occupied planet, and there will be a lot of rebuilding to do. They're going to need my services, especially since I have an in with Lwaxana." Kate gave her captain a look that told her she would brook no argument from her, and the woman deflated beneath her gaze.

"I believe that I could arrange that," she finally said, and Kate gave her a sharp nod as she turned on her heel and made her way for the doors. "But the moment that we're out of drydock, I'm coming to pick you up. You're still a commissioned officer, and as such, you will be expected to fulfill your duty to the _Repulse_."

"That will be fine," she bit out as she stalked from the door, knowing that at some point, things would be coming to a head between them, and she wasn't entirely certain that her captain would be happy with which side of things she'd come down on. By the time she was back in her quarters, she found her breathing labored and she sat heavily on her bed, staring up at the ceiling as she tried to get her feelings back under control. After all, she was one step closer to her lover, she couldn't afford to make a muddle of things now.

Turning onto her side, she picked up her padd and flipped through pictures until she found the one she was looking for. Mister Homm had been very kind and taken a picture of the two of them together, when they had been on Earth at the same time so many months ago. Right now, it was her only tangible link to Lwaxana, and she wanted to hold onto it, knowing that the connection was the only thing in her life that made sense. "Soon, soon, I'll be with you again, beloved," she whispered as she turned onto her back and let herself cry for everything she had lost in the war, and everything she hoped to gain now that it was over.


	2. Chapter 2

Kate sighed as she adjusted the pack on her shoulder. It felt so odd to be dressed in civilian clothes, rather than the familiar blue of her uniform, and she tried not to tug at the hem of her shirt. Commander Worf came up to her side, also dressed in regular clothing. "Are you ready to start our journey, Doctor Pulaski?"

She gave him a small nod before trailing along behind as they made their way through the station. He nodded to Chief O'Brien, and she couldn't stop the soft smile that came to her lips as the man gave her a small wave, one which she gladly returned. "I didn't realise that you would be my escort, Mister Worf, when I requested someone to fly with me to Betazed."

"Yes, well, this will allow me to repay a favor that I owed to Deanna, and it will truly be a pleasure to do this. I feel like there is so much that you have left unsaid, beyond the request from Colonel Kira in regards to your escort."

She nodded a little as they stepped through the airlock ring and into the shuttlecraft that would be their home for the next two weeks It was going to be a tight fit, but then, it wasn't anything she wasn't accustomed to, and she let her bag drop to the floor before taking a seat in the copilot's chair, watching as Worf began to tap away at the control panel and guided them away from the space station.

From this vantage point, the stars were even more beautiful, and she found herself sighing deeply as she let her head come to rest against the back of her chair as she closed her eyes and thought about what awaited her at the end of her journey. The silence that filled the space was comforting, since she knew that Worf wasn't judging her, wasn't thinking her a fool for going to a far-off planet on the hopes that her love was still there, still alive, still wanting her.

Finally, though, the Klingon cleared his throat, and she knew that it was time to answer some hard questions about her future. "I gather that this is not a business call to Betazed."

"You would be right."

"Why are you going there?"

She took a deep breath as she opened her eyes and gazed at him. "Lwaxana and I have been more than friends for a few years now."

"But she has a son."

"And I was married six times. Does that really make a difference? She came to me when she needed help, and we found something special."

"Is she your _Imzadi_ , then?"

The thought gave her pause, and she looked back out at the stars as she tried to sift through her emotions. "I suppose that she could be considered that. For me. Hers was Ian, and I would never think that I was important enough to be that to her."

"There can be more than one. For a time, I was Deanna's _Imzadi_." Worf turned to look at her, a tiny smirk curving up his lips. "When was the last time you heard from Ambassador Troi?"

"It's been four months. Four long, grueling, months. It's been over a year since we've been together. I know that we're still of one mind, but I just need to see her, to be in her presence, once more. I was never one to be overly sentimental, as you are sure to remember." Worf nodded. "There's just something about her that has made my heart so tender. What if, what if something happened to her?"

"I am certain that someone close to her would have sent you word, had there been an incident. The fact that you've heard nothing, even though it is quite distressing to you, is actually the best news that you could hope for. I know that that does not bring you comfort at this time, but if you keep that in mind, perhaps that will make our journey that much easier."

He did have a point, though Kate wasn't certain that she wanted to hear those words at that moment. So, she just nodded a little before looking out at the stars once more. They were the only link that she had to her lover. The silence that filled the shuttlecraft was almost deafening, and she tried not to fill the space with the tapping of her fingers or feet, knowing that it would quickly annoy both of them. "I wish that there was a way to make this ship go faster."

"You cannot break the laws of physics, Kate."

She let out a low chuckle as she closed her eyes, thinking about Lwaxana. "Someday, we might be able to. After all, weren't all laws made to be broken?"

A hearty laugh burst out of the Klingon's lips, and she lolled her head over to look at him, giving him a slow grin. "I do like the way you think. It is most refreshing to be with you once more."

Kate nodded a little, feeling much the same. "I missed you to, Worf. There certainly wasn't a personality quite like yours on the _Repulse_."

"There probably weren't any Klingons on your ship."

"That, too. Which is a shame, because I have the feeling that that might have made the difference in some of our dogfights. I never want to see something like that again. I didn't sign up for having to patch together old friends, only to watch them die the next day as they headed back into battle. I didn't sign up to watch my captain, the only one who understood how I could love Lwaxana so, be mowed down like he was mere cannon fodder. I want to rest, Worf. And that is such a cowardly feeling."

She swiped angrily at her cheeks, trying to scrub away the unwanted tears that she knew were coursing down her face. "There is no shame in being tired of losing your friends, Kate. Especially when the Federation has known peace for as long as it had."

Somehow, Kate knew that he was being kind to her, and she pursed her lips a little as she pulled out her padd and began to look for something to read, needing to take her mind off what was currently distressing her. It seemed she was a glutton for punishment, however, as she called up her letters from Lwaxana. A silly smile curved up her lips as she scanned through the lines of their correspondence. _Katie, I cannot wait to see your face once more. I miss the feel of your skin beneath my fingers, the sound you make when I nip at your collarbone. But what I miss most of all is curling up close to your side as I listen to you fall asleep, my head on your chest. This war is threatening to tear us apart, and I live with the fear that one day I'll get a message from your commanding officer, telling me that you are lost to me forever. When this damn war ends, I'm coming to find you. No matter where in this quadrant you are. That is, if you don't come to me first. I love you, Katherine Pulaski. Don't you dare die on me._

And then, nothing. No word from her beloved. And she was hurtling through space to try and find out what had happened to her Lwaxana. Even though she knew that happy endings only occurred in holosuites, a part of her still wished that there would be a beautiful outcome to their journey.


	3. Chapter 3

Kate came awake with a start, and she tried to stifle her gasp as she looked up into Worf's face. He was wearing a pleased expression, and nervous anticipation filled the pit of her stomach as she sat up and ran her fingers through her curls, trying to tame them into some semblance of order. "Have we reached Betazed, then?" she asked, her voice sounding gravely with sleep.

"Just about. I thought that you might like to see the planet come into view."

She nodded as she got out of the bunk and followed Worf up to the chairs, taking her place in the copilot's seat and watching as the blue of the planet grew larger and larger until she could begin to differentiate oceans and continents. A sense of peace invaded her thoughts as she imagined how beautiful her beloved's homeworld must have been, before the occupation. There wasn't any way that there hadn't been damage done on the planet, and she felt herself deflate a little as negative thoughts began to spiral in her mind.

"I hope that the damage from the war isn't too extensive," she murmured as she worried the fabric of her collar between her fingers. Worf gave her an almost pitying look, which told her precisely how ridiculous her statement was, and she shrugged a little. "I know, but hope springs eternal in this human."

"It is good to keep a positive attitude, but you also need to be realistic about your expectations. The horrors of war oftentimes leave scars far deeper than anything on the surface. It will be in the people, and it will be especially strong in the Betazoid, since their particular abilities mean that some wounds take much longer to heal."

She nodded, thinking about what had happened to Lwaxana, and how it had affected how she wanted to interact with her people. "I know. I just need to stay overly optimistic until I'm down there, dealing with Lwaxana's fallout."

Worf looked like he was about to answer her when their comm chirped, informing them there was an incoming message. Worf opened the channel and a pleasant voice drifted out. "Please state the name of your vessel and the nature of your visit."

There was steel in the undercurrent of her voice, however pleasant her tone, and Kate swallowed thickly, looking to her companion for guidance. He gave her a tight nod before clearing his throat. "This is the _Excelsior_ , from the station _Deep Space Nine_ , bearing Commander Worf and Doctor Katherine Pulaski. She has come to check on Ambassador Troi, as she has not heard from her since the War ended."

There was a gentle prodding in her mind, and Kate wondered how strong an empath was reading her thoughts, and so she tried to shield her mind from reading. A light chuckle came over the comm, and she knew that she'd been right in trying to shy away from the contact. "It will take some time to get clearance for you, Doctor Pulaski. Does Lwaxana know that you've come?"

"No, I rushed off before thinking things out thoroughly," she replied with dry candor, though a pit of anxiety began to open up beneath her, her mind suddenly wondering if this had been such a great idea after all. "Will it take long to clear me?"

Her voice came out much sharper than planned, and Worf gave her an approving nod. Instead of feeling bolstered by this response, she found herself tapping the toe of her boot as silently as possible, needing to get the nervous energy out of her system before she said something that she regretted. "Unfortunately, yes, it will take more time than you would probably like, Doctor Pulaski. We will be in contact with you once more, as soon as we have everything in order. Until then, try to relax."

It was as if the unnamed woman was both admonishing and mocking her, and Kate frowned deeply to hear the comm channel close. Turning to Worf, she let out an exasperated breath, to which he again nodded sagely. "This is to be expected, Doctor. The War ended just a short time ago, and they faced enormous casualties, so their reticence to just allow a virtual stranger to come down to the planet is a good choice."

"I don't care about that! They can just scan this blasted ship and see that we bear them no ill will, that we're harmless!"

"You just want to see your _Imzadi_ again, and that is making you impatient. The true warrior knows when to wait, and when to strike. This is a time of waiting."

She let out a huff before turning on her heel and stalked over to their bunks. "Well, then, I am going to spend my time waiting by sleeping it away!" Slipping out of her boots, she climbed beneath the sheet and pounded her pillow a few times before laying her head to rest upon it and angrily closing her eyes, willing herself to sleep.

Kate had no idea how long she had slept for, the only thing she knew is that she woke up with a start to the sound of the comm chirping once more. Tripping over to the console, she pressed the button anxiously, trying to find the right words to say to the voice. "Yes?" she finally managed to gasp out, pursing her lips together once more in order not to make a fool of herself by blathering on.

"We have confirmed your story with your captain, Doctor Pulaski, and welcome you warmly to Betazed. We can beam you down planetside in two Terran hours, will that give you enough time to prepare?"

"We can't just land the shuttlecraft on the planet?"

"Unfortunately, we were left with no appropriate place for a shuttlecraft to land, and our rebuilding efforts have been focused on our infrastructure. It will be months before we have a landing site once more. Will that be a problem?"

Kate knew she was being challenged, and after taking a few deep breaths, she shook her head. "No. That will be fine. I will await your next message." The comm link was cut once more, and Kate rubbed her hand over her face. Feeling Worf approach her from behind, she turned and looked at him, a wry smile on her face. "It looks like I'll be transporting down to the planet."

"If that's the only way to see her, then you'll take it."

She nodded, blinking back tears. "What if, what if she doesn't want to see me?"

"I highly doubt that, Doctor. But should that be the case, I'm certain that you will find a way to make yourself useful. Would you like to share a final meal before I leave?"

"I believe I would, Worf. Let me pack my bag while you choose something appropriately Klingon to send me off with."

He dipped his head before moving over to the replicator, and Kate let out a soft sigh before heading back to her bunk and taking a seat as she began to jam the few belongings she had taken out on their journey back into her bag. Once that was done, she tossed it onto her bed and then joined Worf at the small table where he had placed their meal. "Can I give you some advice?"

"Of course."

"When you are on Betazed, you most likely will not be prepared for what you encounter. You were able to escape the horrors of this war relatively unscathed, and you will not understand what happened on the planet. You will not understand fully what Ambassador Troi went through. You will be a support for her, you will take on some of her terror, but at the core, you will never feel what she felt during the occupation. Do not baby her, she is a proud woman…"

"I know that much, Worf," she interrupted, giving him an open smile, knowing that he was offering her what tools she would need for being with Lwaxana once more. The pragmatism in his words settled her nerves a little. "And whatever happens, I plan on being there for her, no matter what does happen. Though I don't know what I'll do if she sends me away."

"You will find a way to make yourself useful, and remind her of why she became enamored with you in the first place."

She nodded a little and tucked into her food, trying to think of all the positive ways that everything could end. In the back of her mind, she felt a familiar nudge, and knew that Lwaxana had finally taken notice of her and was reaching out. But as soon as she also reached out for her beloved, the link was abruptly severed, and she frowned deeply, staring into her food as she tried not to think about what that possibly meant for her trip to Betazed.


	4. Chapter 4

Kate hated the sensation of coming apart at the seams that transporting always filled her with. And though she wasn't religious, she still prayed to any listening deity that she would come back together in one piece and wholly herself. Her goodbyes to Worf hadn't taken long, though she was surprised that he had embraced her in a tight hug before allowing her to go. A part of her wondered if that had been the result of losing Jadzia, but she chose not to press the matter, instead returning the gesture with gusto before shouldering her bag and allowing herself to be beamed down to the planet.

Mister Homm was there, awaiting her, and she gave him a small nod of her head as she brushed out some wrinkles from her pants. "It is very good to see you once more," she said as a smile began to spread across her lips. She could feel a gentle probing in her mind, and somehow knew that it was him, reading her thoughts, and she shook her head a little. "I prefer to keep my thoughts my own."

"A tall order here on Betazed. We know everything about everyone, though most of us have learned to shield things by the time we're adults." She glanced over at the woman who was addressing her, and cocked her head to one side, unable to keep her lips from flattening into a moue of discontent. "You are one of the easiest minds to read, Katherine Pulaski. Your thoughts are loud, though orderly, and there are those of us who hope that you are successful in your endeavor."

A faint blush spread across Kate's cheeks as she looked away. "Wonderful."

"Lwaxana is one of my dearest friends, and I know that you worked wonders in her life, after that little incident with the Ferengi, and then in the years afterwards. She loves you, and I think that she fell in love with you aboard the _Repulse_. That's what I could find out, when she let her shields down around me for the briefest of moments." The woman stepped closer to Kate and rested her hand on her upper arm. "Please, heal her again."

"I'm going to do my best. After all, I am a doctor." The response was flip, and from the sad frown on the woman's face, Kate knew that she had read her true thoughts, recognized her doubts in being able to heal Lwaxana this time, that she didn't know if she'd be able to reach out and find the broken pieces of her beloved's heart and fuse them back together.

"She's your _Imzadi_ , and now that you're here, things will improve. For both of you." The woman reached out and took hold of her hand, clasping it tightly. "And if you need anything while you are here, do not hesitate to ask Mister Homm for me, Khalinda. He'll know who you mean. Remember, you have more support here than you could possibly understand at this moment."

The earnestness of her words washed over Kate's mind, and she nodded, grasping at the thin thread of another consciousness in her brain, able to feel more clearly what Khalinda was trying to convey. "Thank you," she said, a wobbly smile curving her lips upwards to hear the response clearly in her mind.

"You are learning quite quickly, Kate. Now, you just have to work on keeping us out." Khalinda gave her a warm smile before gently pushing her towards Mister Homm. She nodded and turned on her heel, following after the man as he carried her bags out of the building and over to a waiting hover car. It was dingy, old, and Kate tried to school her reactions, somehow knowing that this was the best that the planet could offer at the moment.

Mister Homm touched her shoulder, and Kate looked up at him, feeling tears swim in her eyes. The warm feeling of care that surrounded her took her aback somewhat, and she nodded a little as she climbed inside and let the man begin the drive to Lwaxana's home. As they drove, she could feel the constant, questioning, probes that the Betazoids sent out into her mind, knowing that they were trying to read her, to find out her reasons for being on their planet. And though it was hard, she started to try and shield her innermost thoughts from detection, imagining herself putting lids on top of things she didn't want the others to know about her.

They came upon what had once been a beautiful town square, and she teared up to see a small child poke her head out from behind a battle-scarred fountain, giving her a wide smile as she waved her over. "Do we have a moment?" she asked as she looked at the quiet, still, man. He angled his head a little as a hint of a smile danced around his lips as he slowed the vehicle, allowing her to get out.

As she approached the fountain, Kate could feel the steady presence of Mister Homm just behind her as she took a seat on the edge, letting her fingers drag through the tepid water and thinking hopeful, happy, thoughts. Slowly, the girl crept up to her side before taking a careful seat next to her, regarding her closely with large, dark, eyes, that reminded her so of Lwaxana.

The thought of her lover made her smile widely, resulting in a similar smile on the girl's. "My name is Kate. What's yours?"

"Adrienne. Are you a healer?"

Kate nodded, still drawing patterns in the water in an attempt to make the girl feel at ease. "I am a doctor," she finally whispered, looking up at Mister Homm. There was an air of quiet respect about him, and she felt a steady, insistent, thought of how much she was needed here on Betazed. "Though I don't know if I'm any good at my job any longer. I've seen things I never thought I would, and I've missed my…"

She hesitated with naming Lwaxana as her _Imzadi_ , but Adrienne gave her an adorable grin as she nodded enthusiastically. "You've missed your soulmate, your _Imzadi_! That's why you're here, right? To be with her and heal her?"

It was amazing how clearly children could read situations, and she gave a hesitant nod before shaking her hand free of the water, taking care not to splash either of them. "If she'll have me. I haven't gotten very many positive thoughts from her, as it was a surprise. I don't think Lwaxana takes to surprises very well.

_You've got that right, Katie_.

That was the first clear thought she had ever received from her lover, and she knew it was Lwaxana, since she could clearly hear the imperious tone that her lover took when she felt personally affronted. Chuckling a little, she shook her head before swiping her hand against her thigh and smoothing her blouse a little. "Well, I suppose that I have to face her sometime, right, Adrienne?"

"Yes. And don't worry, she'll come around once she's seen you. Isn't that how the course of true love always goes?"

Kate nodded as she stood, following after Mister Homm, making certain to wave at Adrienne as he pulled away from the square. It was good to know that she was welcome here by others, even if she wasn't entirely certain where she stood with Lwaxana yet. Turning her upper body slightly, she looked, well, stared, at the quiet man, studying his face in an attempt to learn how to read him. _You are learning_.

She started a little before nodding. "I guess I am. I never knew I could do this," she replied as she drew in a shaky breath. _What if she won't see me?_ She tried to direct the thought only at him, and had no idea how successful she was, only that he had caught the words.

_She will come around, Kate. Don't give up on her before you even arrive._

Kate swallowed thickly as she stared out at the passing scenery. It was difficult to keep from openly weeping at the destruction that had been inflicted upon the city, as every building bore scars of the occupation. "Just like every person does," she murmured. Jumping a little, she turned to look at the quiet man as he patted her shoulder gently, trying to comfort her. "I guess that I'm not that great at shielding everything away just yet."

_That comes with time. You cannot expect to learn in one day what it takes Betazoid children a decade or more to master. For a human, you are doing amazingly well. Keep it up, and you might have it mastered by the time the two of you cross over into the next life._

Kate let a small smile flitter across her face as she looked up into his eyes. "I'm glad at least one person has the faith in me that I sorely lack at the moment. Keep reminding me of that, if my resolve should falter." He gave her a solemn nod, and she focused her gaze once more upon the destruction around her, determined to see this through to the bittersweet end.


	5. Chapter 5

After Kate had gotten out of the vehicle, she instinctively reached for her bags, only to find that Mister Homm had already taken them and was waiting for her on the porch. Nodding, she jogged over to his side and together, they entered the house. It was silent, and that bothered Kate for some reason. She had always imagined that Lwaxana would have music playing in the background, to have something beautiful and light to guide her thoughts.

"I can put some on for you, if you wish."

She looked up at Mister Homm, and gave a small shake of her head. "I only want that if she wants that. This is her home, after all. I am merely an unwanted, uninvited, guest." Kate tried to throw up a shield as she felt her thoughts turn sad, but she knew that she was too late, based on the look the man gave her.

Sighing deeply, he guided her up to an empty bedroom, and she wondered how close she was to Lwaxana's room. A quick smile passed across his lips as he pointed to the next door, and she nodded a little as she went into her room. It was absolutely beautiful, and a part of her wondered how this loveliness had escaped the clutches of the Founders.

Vague images assaulted her mind, and she wondered who was trying to get her to understand. Screwing shut her eyes, she grabbed hold of a thin thread of gold, clutching it as she focused in on the thoughts. Following the direction of thoughts back to their origin, her shoulders slumping a little in relief at the sudden appearance of her Lwaxana in her mind. "Get out!" was clearly thought at her, and she recoiled in shock as she opened her eyes and staggered over towards the bed that would be hers for the duration of her stay.

Mr. Homm gave her a sad look as he set her bag on the dresser. "Rest."

She nodded as she sat on the bed, curling her legs up to her chest as she stared unseeingly at a spot on the wall. After the door had closed with a soft click, she stretched out on the mattress, tugging a thin blanket up around her shoulders as she tried not to think about anything. As her eyes slid closed, and she imagined the blackness of space swallowing her whole, the last thing she thought she heard was a familiar voice soothingly telling her that she would be all right.

The next thing Kate knew, she was waking up to the loud probing of a young mind. Blinking her eyes open, she was greeted by the sight of a young boy who looked a lot like Lwaxana. "Yes, that's right. I'm Ian!" He clambered up onto her bed and snuggled in close to her. "Mister Homm says that you're Mama's guest, and that I have to stay out of your thoughts. He said that you're not like us, not yet, even if you do broadcast quite clearly."

She smiled as she reached out and swiped at his nose. "That's right, I don't have the natural abilities that the Betazoid people have. But according to Mister Homm, I do have a little bit of an inclination towards telepathy."

Ian nodded solemnly as he flopped onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. "Mama's been a little sad for the last couple days. It's gotten worse since you arrived on the planet. You love her, and she loves you. Why would that make her sad?"

Kate tried to shield her inner thoughts from the child, since he shouldn't be burdened by such things, and a soft sigh slipped from her lips. "I didn't exactly inform your mother of my decision to come here, and surprised her with my arrival. I was concerned when I hadn't heard anything from her for too long a time. I know, there was a war, and your home planet was occupied, but we still managed to send communiqués back and forth over a restricted channel. When you care for someone as deeply as I do your mother, sometimes you throw caution to the wind and do the thing you're least expected to. For me, that was coming here, to make certain everything was okay."

His small hand reached out for hers, squeezing it tightly, as if he had found a lifeline that he didn't want to be parted from. Quick tears stung her eyes as she blinked rapidly, and Kate squeezed back softly. "There haven't been any off worlders who have come. Mister Homm thought that perhaps the ship my sister is on would come here, since the war is over, but there's not been word from her, either. I don't like waiting. I haven't even met her yet."

"Deanna is a lovely woman, and I'm sure you'll like her. She's kind to everyone, and she's just as pretty as your Mama."

"And yet you love Mama?"

Kate chuckled as she nodded. "The heart knows when it's met the one, Ian." A wide smile spread across her face as she thought about the times she had spent with Lwaxana, hoping that she was keeping the more intimate details firmly behind a thick wall. There were things that Ian didn't need to know at his young age, after all. "Your mother is like a force of nature, and there is something that drew me to her from the moment we met. And I am very glad that I finally get to meet you in person, since your mother has told me all about you."

"Mama's talked about you, too, Kate. There were times when you were the only thing that put a smile on her face. That's why I'm glad you're here." She grinned as she nodded, feeling her stomach rumble with hunger. It was only then that she realized she hadn't really eaten anything in more than twelve hours. "Supper isn't for a few more hours, but…we can probably get a snack from the kitchen. There isn't as much food rationing now as there was a few months ago."

She nodded and sat up, rubbing her torso absently before standing and moving over to the door, waiting for Ian to join her. Trustingly, he slipped his hand into hers as they started down the hall and then down the stairs. Kate was still a little disoriented from her nap, and she struggled to pay attention to the directions they turned, wanting to know, just in case she had to find her own way later on. Ian laughed a little, and she glanced down at him, seeing the impish grin that curved his lips upwards, making him look so much like Deanna in that moment.

"Would you tell me about my sister?"

"I can, yes," she replied as they turned into a large, open, kitchen. There was a table in the center of it, though the casualness of the room told her that this wasn't normally where Lwaxana ate, and she took a seat there while Ian rummaged around in one of the cupboards to find them something to eat. "Does your mother not use replicators, then?" she asked, startled.

"We have one, but Mama gave all her rations to those who needed them more. She said that we could make do with other things to eat," he replied as he pulled out a loaf of crusty bread and brought it over to her. "Will you cut this while I get the rhinoberry jam?"

Kate nodded and looked around the room for a knife, finally finding a block with them on the counter by the sink. Walking over there, she pulled out the smallest one before heading back and taking a seat once more. Ian joined her a moment later, setting down a large jar of homemade jam and a dull knife next to the bread. She smiled as she cut off a large hunk for each of them, spreading the jam generously before handing the larger piece to Ian, since he was a growing child and needed the nutrition more than she did.

"All right, what would you like to know about your sister?"

Ian shrugged a little, and Kate could almost swear that she heard him think about how much his mother talked about her. "Is she important?"

"It depends on what you think of as important. She's the counselor of the _Enterprise_ , which is a very important post. She helps people deal with their feelings after a particularly bad mission, or if they get bad news from home. I've also heard, since I haven't been on the _Enterprise_ in some time, that she is also quite good at having the bridge, which is a big responsibility."

"So, she really is important."

"I suppose, but that's not how I measure the full range of importance. She's also really kind, and tries to bring harmony to every situation." In the back of her mind, she felt a gentle probing, and she reached out for that golden tendril, sending through a distinct image of Deanna, knowing that Lwaxana was trying to reach out, even if she didn't want to be with them at the moment. That truth hurt her heart, but Kate knew that she would have to take whatever she was offered until she was given more.


	6. Chapter 6

"Are you ready for supper?"

Kate looked up from the book she was reading on her padd, and gave Mister Homm a small smile. "If you're serving it, then yes, I am."

He inclined his head a little, and she reached out with her mind to try and read what he was thinking, receiving just a small glimmer of mirth and fondness. It was still a stronger image than she had received from him previously, so that was a start, and she stood to go over to his side. "It will take time, Doctor. You cannot expect to be perfect at it, all at once."

She nodded and slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow, allowing him to lead her into a sumptuous dining room. She half expected Lwaxana to be seated at the head of the table, an outlandish gown lending her an air of frivolity that belied her strength and intelligence. A disheartened sigh slipped from her lips as she took a seat, noticing as she took a closer look that the dim lighting hid the slight air of disrepair that clung about the room.

Ian bounded into the room, coming to a fast stop in front of the chair across from her, giving Mister Homm a sheepish smile as he sat down, breathing heavily. Turning his head to face Kate, he grinned widely and picked up his water glass, taking a long sip before setting it down with a loud thud. "Mama's not coming down to eat?" he asked, looking at Kate.

"I guess not," she softly replied, trying not to sound too sad about it. Mister Homm gave her a long-suffering look, and she shrugged a little as she picked up her own glass, taking a small sip. She was surprised to find that it was smooth, but had the kick of real alcohol. And a small part of her knew that she would have to drink sparingly, so as not to get drunk on her first night there.

"She was feeling under the weather," Mister Homm finally said, and Kate knew that it was spoken aloud for her benefit. "She might make an appearance tomorrow, if things are better."

"That's good to know," she softly said as a servant brought out the first course. She had known that, as an Ambassador, and as a Daughter of the Fifth House, Lwaxana moved in the upper echelons of her society, but the appearance of servants still startled her. Giving the young man a small smile, Kate breathed in the delicious scent of exotic spices and hoped that her stomach wouldn't embarrass her by rumbling loudly.

The meal passed by almost silently, and Kate could tell that Ian and Mister Homm were having a telepathic conversation. Deliberately concentrating, she could just catch bits and pieces of it, never enough to fully understand the big picture. Ian kept throwing her wide smiles, though, which settled her a little. The courses moved by quickly, and Kate felt that she could quickly grow accustomed to Betazoid food. The dessert, though, made her feel like she was home on Earth, and before she could stop them, quick tears blurred her vision, though she tried to discreetly swipe them away when the servant set a plate of warm apple pie down in front of her.

Glancing at Mister Homm, she felt a warm feeling of acceptance wash over her, and she smiled. "She thought that you might like a little taste of home. Her first husband brought the seedlings with him when they settled here, and they've produced apples ever since."

Kate nodded a little as she picked up her fork and flaked off a bite, closing her mouth around in and allowing the flavors to burst on her tongue. The deep groan of pleasure was more internal, and she knew that Lwaxana had picked up on that, from the answering sensual feeling that ran through her body. Pursing her lips, she tried to not allow her thoughts to run rampant, since she had yet to learn complete control over them.

Mister Homm gave her a knowing smile, and she bit her lip as she hurriedly finished her piece of pie. Once she was finished, a hot mug of tea was placed close to her hand, and she wrapped her fingers around it, letting the warmth bleed into her skin as she held it close to her chest. "There is something so comforting about the smell of tea," she murmured before taking a small drink. "But if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to finish my book before heading up to bed."

Mister Homm nodded, though Ian seemed a bit crestfallen to see her go. She smiled in his direction, until he glanced up and gave her a small smile in return. She had to fight the urge to go over to him and ruffle his hair. Ian's smile grew as he pushed away from the table and came over to her side, throwing his arms around her neck and hugging her tightly. "I'm glad you're here, even if Mama isn't ready to have you here."

Kate nodded and hugged him back before getting up from the table and headed for the door, mug in hand. Surprisingly, she managed to find her way back to the sitting room, and she curled up in the chair once more, picking up her padd and resuming the story from where she'd left off. The light outside quickly grew dim, and she was a little sad to lose the natural light to read by. Bookmarking her place, she looked at her mug, wondering if she should just leave it there, or take it to the kitchen.

Her mother's voice won out, and she stumbled her way to the kitchen, trying to remember where, exactly, it was. Without getting too turned around, she managed to find her way and then set the mug on the counter, not seeing a sink right off hand. Then, she turned and made her way upstairs and over to her room. She hesitated, though, in front of Lwaxana's door, wanting to just barrel inside and confront her lover, but she knew that was a bad idea.

Instead, she reached out and rested her palm against the door, trying to feel some connection with the woman. Again, there was a small flicker of awareness there before she was shut out of her thoughts completely, and Kate let her shoulders slump as she pulled away and trudged over to her door.

Despite her earlier nap, Kate still felt exhausted, and she wondered if that was her body trying to grow accustomed to being on a normal diurnal cycle once more. Heading over to the closet, she was surprised to see that all the clothes she had brought with her were hung neatly there, and her bag was stowed on the floor next to her shoes. Her nightclothes were missing, though, and she frowned until she spied the chest of drawers next to the closet.

Trying to first drawer, she found her undergarments, and hoped her pyjamas were in the second drawer. Pulling it out, she smiled in relief to see them there, and she pulled out a pair of loose, silky, pants and a long-sleeved top. It didn't take long for her to change, and she dropped the dirty clothes in a hamper before padding over to the bed and curling up on the mattress, covering herself with the blanket as she settled down to sleep.

She was just drifting off to sleep when a sharp scream had her bolting upright in bed. Feeling her heart pounding rapidly in her chest, Kate looked around the room, almost swearing that the sound had come from inside it. Seeing no one else there, she swung her legs down, her feet touching the ground in time for the second scream to split the air. This time, Kate could more clearly tell that it was Lwaxana, and she took off for the room next door.

The moment her hand touched the doorknob, another, softer, scream sounded from the room, and she felt her heart clench painfully as she opened the door and stepped inside. Lwaxana was curled up on the very edge of her bed, sobbing quietly now, and Kate felt her own tears spring up as she crossed the small distance between them and crawled into bed. Her beloved's body stiffened when she recognized the feel of another body next to her, and Kate hesitantly reached out, touching her bare shoulder.

"You shouldn't have come," Lwaxana whispered, and Kate closed her hand around the ball of the joint, squeezing softly. "I didn't have this many nightmares before you arrived."

"And I couldn't be apart from you any longer," she murmured in reply. This just seemed to bring about a fresh round of sobs from her beloved, and Kate tried not to let it get under her skin as she spooned her body around Lwaxana's, trying to calm her just a tiny bit.


	7. Chapter 7

It took seemingly forever for Lwaxana to stop crying, and Kate tried to keep from sobbing along with her. It wasn't fair to try and co-opt her grief. All she could do was hold on to her, and hope that she was bringing some comfort to her. Finally, as the sobs quieted, Lwaxana turned to face her, her eyes looking so large and luminous in the soft light of the moon that streamed into the room.

"May I kiss you?" she whispered, wanting desperately for Lwaxana to consent. It had been so long since she had tasted her, and yet she didn't want to overstep any boundaries. Lwaxana gave her a small nod before leaning her head in, pressing her lips against Kate's in a chaste kiss. She wanted to deepen it, to take things further, but she knew that she couldn't, and she tried to content herself with the soft caress.

A tiny sigh escaped both their lips, and Kate let out a little chuckle as she reached up to run her fingers through the short dark curls. "Really, Katie, you should have stayed away. My world has collapsed in on itself, and I don't want to drag you down with me."

"Don't you think that should be for me to decide, Lwaxana?" she asked as she lightly scratched at the back of her neck, knowing the exact pressure to use, in order to be comforting for the woman. Lwaxana arched into the touches a little, and they shared a fleeting smile before Lwaxana kissed her once more. "I traveled so far to see you. Doesn't that prove the depth of my devotion?"

"I wish that that was enough. But there's a hole in my heart now, and I don't know if it will ever be filled. I don't want you to feel tethered to me."

There was a deep sorrow to her voice, and Kate slung her arm around Lwaxana's waist, drawing her closer as she hooked her chin over her shoulder, not wanting to let Lwaxana see her face. A tiny chuckle broke from her lips when she realized that that didn't matter, she couldn't shield her thoughts from her lover, had never been able to, probably would never be able to. "It's not fair."

"I know. But I've grown up a Betazoid, you've only been a part of my life for a few years. Eventually, you might gain total control over your shields around everyone else." Lwaxana's nose nuzzled against the side of her head, and she smiled as she relaxed further against her.

A comfortable silence fell over the room, and it wasn't long before her lover's breathing evened out, letting Kate know that she had fallen asleep. Still, she was loathe to fall asleep herself, now that she held her beloved in her arms once more.

"You've let me in now, dearest, but will that be the same come the morning?" Her heart felt heavy in her chest, even though she was right where she had wanted to be since the announcement of the end of the war. Still, things felt stilted, even in sleep, and she wondered if there would always be this stumbling block between them, or if she would be let in once more, allowed to know the dark places of Lwaxana's heart.

Once more, she had almost fallen asleep when she felt Lwaxana stiffen in her arms. She knew that another nightmare was taking over her mind, and Kate tightened her arms around her waist as she attempted to think of a way to help her out of that. Lwaxana's eyes flew open, and the stark terror that shone from there jabbed deeply into her gut.

"Help me?"

She hated the questioning tone in Lwaxana's voice, since she knew that there was a part of her lover that questioned if Kate could help her. What could have been so bad that Lwaxana thought she couldn't heal her, even after everything she had done to help her after the Ferengi incident. "Just let me in," she said in response, leaning in and kissing her cheek softly. She tasted salt, and knew that her lover had moved on to silent crying, which was somehow worse than the loud sobs.

"I'm trying."

Kate nodded as she rested her forehead against Lwaxana's and gazed into her eyes. "Will you tell me about this nightmare?"

There was a quick shake of her head before Lwaxana closed her eyes. "It's still so raw."

"Okay," she murmured before allowing her eyes to close, syncing up their breathing in order to calm Lwaxana more. The trick seemed to work, since she came down from this nightmare much quicker than the first. It seemed, though, that sleep was also more elusive for both of them now, and she opened her eyes to find Lwaxana studying her face carefully. "What?"

"You have a new scar. Right here," she replied as she reached up and ran a finger along her hairline by her left eye.

"There are some things that even a dermal regenerator can't fix. I received it in the opening days of the war. My ship was caught flatfooted, and I focused on getting my crew patched up. By the time I saw to my own needs, it was too late to make my face flawless once more. I'd almost forgotten it was there, since it doesn't hurt. I'm surprised you found it, though, since it's faded so much."

"I know your face, Kate. I've had it committed to memory for so long that any small change is quite obvious to me. Some scars, though, aren't visible. And it seems that I've added to my collection."

She frowned a little as she snaked her hand up to once more stroke Lwaxana's hair, the gesture so comforting to herself, even if she couldn't tell if she was making Lwaxana feel any better. The smile that flitted across her face told Kate that perhaps she was a bit picked up by it. "I have a few of those scars, too. We'll have to trade stories."

"Yes." Lwaxana yawned deeply before snuggling in a little closer to Kate, fitting a leg between Kate's as she tried to erase all separation between them. "I'm so tired, Katie. So tired. But I can't sleep the night through. Hold me?"

"Do you even need to ask?" she replied as she dragged her fingers down her neck and began to draw soft patterns on her back, remembering that this also helped calm her heart. Lwaxana gave her a sad, knowing, smile before she let her eyes slide closed once more.

Despite her gravelly voice, Kate began to sing lowly under her breath, the lullabies of her childhood coming to the forefront of her mind. "You remind me of Ian. He would always sing Terran lullabies to me, too, when I got worked up like this. Thank you."

The soft whisper below her singing warmed her heart, and she nodded as she finished up the song. By the end of it, Lwaxana was fully asleep and Kate smiled as she let her head come to rest on her lover's pillow, her eyes feeling so heavy with exhaustion, but she couldn't find a way to fall asleep, as she just wanted to stare at Lwaxana's face and commit the new lines to memory.

"You are so beautiful, my darling one," she whispered as she drew in a deep breath, recommitting Lwaxana's scent to memory. That much hadn't changed, and for that she was grateful. "I hope that you know I would move the stars themselves in order to heal all the broken places in you. That I would rebuild your planet brick by brick with my own two hands if it meant that you would smile for me like you used to. I know that things have changed, so much, but I will never leave your side. Because love is a verb, I've found."

From the depth of her sleep, Lwaxana murmured a soft yes, and Kate let out a soft laugh as she finally allowed the blackness of sleep start to eat away at the edges of her vision. And as she gave over to her exhaustion, she let out a few groans of pleasure as Lwaxana's hands began to creep beneath her nightshirt. Even in sleep, it seemed like they couldn't keep their hands off each other, and the last thing she consciously remembered was the feeling that this was home, and Lwaxana was her star, bringing her there.


	8. Chapter 8

Kate woke up a few hours later to the feel of Lwaxana pressing soft kisses to the planes of her face. Blinking her eyes open, she saw that Lwaxana was staring at her face, and she hurriedly reclosed them, wanting to give her lover the privacy to reacquaint herself with Kate. A low chuckle tumbled from Lwaxana's lips, and then Kate was groaning lowly as her lover claimed her lips in a lush kiss, one large hand cupping her head and holding her close.

"I knew the moment you were awake, Kate," Lwaxana murmured as she broke the kiss, letting her head thump down on the pillow. The movement made Kate smile as she opened her eyes again, happy to hear the light tone in her lover's voice. Her dark eyes seemed to bore into Kate's soul, and the smile faltered a little as she reached up to stroke Lwaxana's face. "I feel so exhausted, even though we did manage to get a few good hours of sleep."

"If you've been having night terrors as frequently as you were last night, it makes sense that you would be so tired. You're not getting into the deep sleep cycle long enough for it to do any good for you." Kate's fingers spread out on Lwaxana's skin as she continued to look into her eyes. Usually, she let her piercing blue eyes unsettle people, but here, with her lover, she hoped that her gaze was tender, compassionate.

"It is, Katie."

"You read me that easily?" she asked, finally looking away from her eyes to stare at her chin.

"Of course," was the quick reply, and Kate felt Lwaxana's hand tighten around her head. "You're an open book to me, every block that you throw up, stronger though they're getting, melts under my touch. It's rather humbling, you know. Even Ian didn't give me this much freedom in his thoughts."

She felt a warm blush creep over her skin at that mention, and Lwaxana chuckled throatily, causing her to squirm a little, desiring things that were most inappropriate in that moment. "I'll try to keep the mind yelling down to a dull roar then," she managed to choke out, hoping she sounded like her normal, dry, self.

"Oh, darling, you are much too wet to be dry," she teased, and Kate felt the blush deepen as she pursed her lips together and tried to think of the most boring, most esoteric, science experiment she had ever run. "The more you try to distance yourself from the white elephant, the more you think about it," was whispered in her ear, even as Lwaxana's free hand ran down her side, caressing her flesh beneath the top she wore.

"Still, I think that we should talk a little more first, before we jump into the physical aspect of our relationship once more, don't you?" She could hear Lwaxana's pout, and knew that the woman had deliberately sent that thought to her. Laughing slightly, she tugged at the end of her hair before pushing away slightly and sitting up, bringing her knees to her chest as she watched her lover. Lwaxana followed suit, resting her back against the headboard of the bed as she turned her head to watch Kate closely.

"I know what you want to talk about, Kate. And I know that you know I'm not ready. Would you be willing to compromise a little?"

Kate cocked her head to one side as she reached out one arm, clasping hands with Lwaxana as she nodded. "I suppose that we could do something of the sort."

"Good. I know that you told Ian a little about Deanna, and for that, I am grateful. He hasn't met any off-worlders before you…" Kate opened her mouth to interrupt, to ask about the Jem'hadar, when Lwaxana squeezed her hand sharply, letting her know that that was a topic not to be broached yet. "I'm hopeful that my daughter will come here, soon, since things are a little more stable."

"You could send her an invitation?"

Lwaxana shook her head. "She has to want to come on her own. I don't want to seem like I'm begging, after all." Kate strained to try and hear the thoughts behind the words, and was surprised when Lwaxana pulled her in, allowing her to see the depth of regret that tinged her thoughts of her daughter. "There are times when I want a closer relationship with her, but I think that time for that might be at an end."

"As long as you're alive, there's always a chance for reconciliation." Lwaxana shook her head with a self-deprecating laugh. "Yes."

"You, my dear, are a doctor, not a miracle worker." Lwaxana leaned over and kissed her, and Kate let out a deep breath through her nose as she closed her eyes and moved into the embrace, stretching out her body so that she could wrap her arms around her waist and hold her close as the kiss lingered on. "Though your optimism is admirable."

Breathing heavily, Kate resettled against the headboard, letting her arms drop to her side. Before she knew what was happening, Lwaxana was moving into her space, settling between her legs and resting her back against Kate's chest. There was something so comforting about the feel of her, and Kate sighed gently as she closed her arms around Lwaxana's waist, holding her close as she let her fingers run up and down the soft skin of her torso. "I'm only optimistic when it comes to you."

"That does not surprise me in the least, Katie." They fell quiet and a strange peace settled over the room. "What was the war like for you? The _Repulse_ was your home the entire time, right?"

She nodded as her fingers came to a stop, her palms pressing flat on Lwaxana's stomach. "We were on the fringes of the main action, sent to defend the perimeter of Federation territory. At first, I thought my captain was joking about what was going on. War seemed so foreign to me, despite what I saw traveling on the _Enterprise_. Those petty little interactions seemed so far removed from what we were facing every day once things really got under way. I lost my captain in one skirmish, and I thought that I was losing my entire existence. He understood our relationship, his Number One, she didn't get it, and made it quite clear that she wouldn't tolerate any flights of fancy from me."

"Why do you think she was judging you?"

Kate paused to think, lightly drumming the pads of her fingers against Lwaxana's stomach as she tried to come up with an answer for her lover. "I wish that I knew. I was more free when I talked to you, less cold."

Lwaxana's hands covered hers, squeezing lightly, and she felt the quick pang of sadness from her lover. "I don't know how anyone could describe you as cold."

"I am. You've just gotten to see my private persona. There are very few people who have seen beneath the façade, into my true heart." Turning her head, she pressed her lips against Lwaxana's hair before breathing in deeply. "I didn't help things, either, by not showing much emotion at our captain's death."

"You don't do your mourning in public.

"Exactly. There is a time to mourn, and it wasn't amongst the crew. As a doctor, I have to remain objective, to lead the way, and keep the crew well. They wouldn't trust me with their medical maladies if I were over emotional."

"I understand," Lwaxana murmured as she tugged Kate's hands upwards to cover her breasts. She smiled a little as their familiar weight filled her palms, and she nuzzled her nose against her lover's head. "I did my best to be a good leader for my people, too. As a Daughter of the Fifth House, I was looked up to, made to be an example. And I feel like I failed them. I wasn't able to do more to protect my homeworld."

Kate could feel the slight tremors that shook Lwaxana's body, somehow knowing that she was crying once more. "I'm certain you did everything you could, Lwaxana. You were one person faced with an occupying force that was much stronger than your defenses."

"You do have a point. But that doesn't reach my heart."

She nodded and started to hum lowly, knowing that that had soothed her last night. This time, Lwaxana tried to hum along, clearly knowing the old Terran song, but not well enough to sound confident with it. Once they were both calmer, she reached down and pulled the sheet up to cover them with. "I know that hearts and minds often are at odds, but I know that together, we can maybe get them to match up a little more."

"I'd like that," Lwaxana whispered as the doorknob rattled. "That's Ian. He usually comes in her to snuggle with me in the mornings. He has a little inkling of what happened during the Occupation, though I've tried to shield him from the less savory aspects of it."

She nodded and went to scoot out from under Lwaxana, only for her to shaker her head. "You're okay with him seeing us like this?"

"You're my lover, of course I am." She snuggled back against Kate a little more, and the door opened, revealing a still sleepy looking Ian. "Come in, sweetheart," she said as she beckoned her son over to their side. Ian gave them a small smile, his eyes still half-closed, as he padded over to bed and climbed inside, stretching out alongside Kate as he let his eyes flutter closed once more, waves of contentment washing out from him and flooding the room with sweet energy.


	9. Chapter 9

Without even realizing it, Kate had been on Betazed for a week, growing closer to Ian and Lwaxana as time passed quickly for her. She hadn't heard anything from her crew or friends in that time, which struck her as unusual, but that thought was fleeting as she focused on learning how to shield her more private thoughts from all and sundry. Lwaxana was quick to praise her accomplishments, which filled her heart with a buoyancy that she hadn't felt since the early days of her relationship with Kyle.

"And just who is Kyle?"

Looking up from the padd in her hand, she felt a guilty blush steal across her face as she looked at her lover. "I've never told you about him?" Lwaxana shook her head, and Kate set the padd aside as she turned so that she could more easily address her. "He was probably the one partner I was happiest with."

"As in more than one?"

The salacious glee that dripped from Lwaxana's voice made her giggle, and she nodded. "I've had a few failed marriages in my time. Some were for convenience, some were for lust, but with Kyle, I was truly happy. Will was surprised to find out about our relationship, too, when Kyle visited the _Enterprise_."

A quick flare of anger swept over Lwaxana's psyche, and Kate recoiled a little as the smile slipped from her lips. "Wait, you've slept with William Riker's father?" She nodded. "Well, Deanna will certainly be shocked to find that out." Kate shook her head. "She knows?"

"It wasn't something I could keep hidden, really. And Deanna is your daughter, she can read my face like an open book. There's something about you Troi women that doesn't lend itself to subterfuge." This caused a sharp bark of laughter to escape Lwaxana's lips, and she dared to let a tiny smile creep across her face. "If it helps any, she teased me mercilessly once he'd left."

"Strangely enough, it does." Lwaxana got up from her chair and sank down onto the couch next to her, resting her head on her shoulder. "I was just a tiny bit jealous. I think I'd be jealous of anyone that you've slept with, if that makes sense."

"It does." She let out a soft sound of agreement as she tugged Lwaxana closer, welcoming the heavy weight of her head on her chest. "There's a small part of my heart that is jealous of Ian, and how he got to know you in your youth. He was able to see you without all the artifice that you had to learn for your role as Ambassador. I love the person you are now, but I would have loved to have known you back then, too."

A trill of laughter escaped Lwaxana's throat, and she pushed away from Kate to look into her eyes. "That is thoroughly adorable. Do you want to take a walk with me?"

"Of course." They stood, and Kate took firm hold of her lover's hand as they went outside and into the garden. It was a beautiful day, and Kate turned her face up to the sun, soaking in its warmth as let out a deep, satisfied, breath. They had only walked a little ways when Lwaxana stopped them and turned to look at her. "What is it?"

"There's a call coming in for you, from your ship."

She frowned as she counted back the days she had spent on her journey to Betazed and how long she had been with Lwaxana. There was no way she had used up all her time already, and a small lick of anger burst to life in her breast. Lwaxana tightened her grip on her hand, and she looked over at her, giving her a small smile. "I think I know what my captain is going to say to me. Come with me, so my tongue doesn't get me in trouble?"

"What if I say something that gets you in trouble?" she teased as they turned back towards the house.

"You're an Ambassador, you can talk your way out of anything." Kate knocked their shoulders together, and Lwaxana let out another laugh. In the back of her mind, she felt an encouraging push, and she knew that she was feeling her lover's touch in her mind. Kate allowed her in, and blushed a little at the torrent of risqué pictures that were clearly being transmitted to her. "You cannot do that while I'm on with her. I really will misstep."

"All right, if you insist." Kate nodded as they made their way into the library and Lwaxana led her over to a comm screen. She took a seat and Lwaxana stood in such a way that she could look at her and still appear to be watching the person speaking with them. Reaching out, Kate touched the screen and watched her captain's face appear there. "Good afternoon."

"Doctor Pulaski, I'm glad that you got right with me. I know that you feel you are entitled to more shore leave, since you have accrued quite a bit during your years of service in Starfleet. However, as an assessment of the state of planets and fleets has just been completed, it is clear to me, and to Starfleet, that we are in desperate need of doctors to help heal the wounds left behind by war. Admiral Nechayev will agree with this action, I can assure you, and I am officially declaring your shore leave cancelled. A shuttlecraft will be arriving on Betazed in four days to pick you up."

"You most certainly do not have that level of authority, Captain!"

Kate felt her eyes widen as Lwaxana came into view, looking like a vengeful goddess. "Ambassador Troi, I didn't know that I would have the… pleasure… of speaking with you this afternoon."

"Yes, well, when a minor captain is overstepping the mark, I feel it prudent to step in."

It was clear that neither woman would give in, as they were both stubborn and prideful. Lwaxana shot her a heated look that told her she had overhead that stray thought, and she blushed a little as she glanced back at her captain, who was looking apoplectic. "Captain, I'm sorry, but my place is here on Betazed. There are deep wounds here that need to be addressed, and since I am a doctor, I can start to do vital work that might take other people much too long. Since I have a personal connection to the Daughter of the Fifth House, the people trust me more so than they would another member of Starfleet. And if Admiral Nechayev wants to give me orders to leave, she can do it herself."

The blood drained from her captain's face, and Kate knew that they had both called her bluff, and she surreptitiously reached out for Lwaxana's hand, needing the touch of her hand in that moment. "You need to make your choice, Doctor Pulaski. Are you with Starfleet, or are you with her?"

Kate stole a quick look up at Lwaxana, taking in the flat mask it had become. Reaching out with her mind, she could feel the tumult of thoughts there, though the loudest, by far, was the mantra of _please, don't leave me_. Quick tears stung her eyes as she shook her head. "My choice was made long ago, when Lwaxana first sought me out, wanting me to heal her from what she had endured. My choice will always be her. And if you have nothing more to say to me, Captain, I will be calling the Admiral next."

She cut the connection before another word was spoken, and nodded to Lwaxana. "You didn't have to choose me."

"I would have destroyed both our hearts if I had chosen the _Repulse_ over you. We both know that is as true as my love for you." Lwaxana leaned down and kissed her softly, and again, one thought overwhelmed her senses was _thank you_. "I know you didn't want me here to begin with, but I can't imagine not being here."

Lwaxana nodded in reply, giving her another kiss. "Are you really going to call Admiral Nechayev?"

"I have to now, otherwise who knows what she'll say to her." Another kiss was pressed to her lips before Lwaxana reached around and pressed a few buttons. Within five minutes, her call was answered, and Kate straightened her shirt to try and put forth a good image.

"Ambassador Troi?"

"Hello, Alynna! I hope that you're doing well today. This is a slight social call, so we'll try not to take up too much of your time. It wouldn't surprise me if shortly, you received a call from the captain of the _Repulse_ about Doctor Katherine Pulaski, who is here with me now. It seems that the captain is trying to coerce Doctor Pulaski into giving up her much-needed shore leave. In fact, Doctor Pulaski is at the point where she'd like to resign her commission and stay here on Betazed, helping with the rebuilding efforts here."

The admiral sat back in her chair, regarding them both. To Kate, it appeared that she had quickly sussed them out, and she gave her a small nod before looking up at Lwaxana. "From what I've heard, Betazed could do with Starfleet's presence. I will send a notice to the _Repulse_ that until further notice, Doctor Pulaski is the official Starfleet representative to your planet, and all medical and rebuilding needs will be funneled through her."

Kate tried not to swallow hard at the level of responsibility that had just been settled on her shoulders. From the warm wave of support she received from Lwaxana's mind, she knew that it would be all right in the end, she just hoped that she could do right by the people of her new home planet.


	10. Chapter 10

Kate found that her days began to blur together as the rebuilding efforts on Betazed really got under way, now that there was official help coming from Starfleet. Still, she found that there were things that Lwaxana held back from her, hidden behind walls too thick for her limited mental capabilities to penetrate.

And though she had been on the planet for six weeks, and had shared Lwaxana's bed ever since that first night, they had yet to make love. She missed the intimacy between them, even though it seemed like they were never more than twenty feet away from each other. She didn't really know why she was holding back, why she wasn't asking for intimacy, but she did know that she wanted to give Lwaxana all the time and space she needed to feel completely safe.

Ian ran into the room Kate had turned into her makeshift exam room, giving her a wide smile before taking hold of her hand and tugging her to her feet. "Kate! Mama said you need to come see this!"

She felt her brows furrow together as she allowed the boy to pull her through the house and into the Great Hall. Lwaxana was there, talking animatedly with a very familiar figure. "Kyle?"

"Kate!" He waved her over and she slowly came over to their sides, automatically choosing to stand next to Lwaxana, her arm closing around her waist as she looked at her former lover. "Ambassador Troi sent out a call for supplies, and I was in the area. I can't stay long, but we're going to have lunch together, she said."

He stepped forward, and she stiffened as she prepared herself to be embraced by him. Lwaxana's voice came tripping through her mind, teasing her about her reticence to hug Kyle. Letting out a huff of air, she stepped forward and hugged him tightly, letting him kiss her cheek. "It's good to see you," she said as they made their way to the dining room. Mister Homm was already there, and she let out a sigh of relief as Lwaxana took a seat at the head of the table. Kate sat at her right side, and was grateful that Ian took the seat next to her, leaving Kyle to sit across the table from them. "So, what have you been doing these last few years?" she asked as she picked up her wine and sipped at it.

"Trying to stay out of the way of the war. Starfleet did a bang up job with that."

She threw a look to Lwaxana, who was wearing her placid look, the one that told Kate there was going to be a scene if Kyle didn't start to be a little respectful of what had happened. "Things so quickly get out of control, and the collateral damage is often the worst thing in war."

"That is true," he said, sounding a little mollified. "Will mentioned that he and Deanna were planning on taking some of their shore leave as soon as they got back from deep space, and that he might come out and see me. Should I send them out your way afterwards?"

"If you'd like, Kyle." Lwaxana's voice was tight, high, and she knew that she was deeply hurt by the fact that her daughter was choosing someone else first. Underneath the table, she reached out her hand and caressed her lover's knee, trying to communicate words of comfort to her as the first course of their meal arrived.

A weird silence fell over the room as they ate, and Kate did nothing to make Kyle feel more comfortable, since she wasn't too pleased to see him in the first place. Now that she had tasted paradise in Lwaxana's arms, seeing a former lover held little appeal for her. Lwaxana darted her eyes to look at Kate, happiness shining there, and they shared a soft smile before turning their focus back on their meal. Finally, though, she could stand the quiet no longer, and she looked at Kyle. "Have you settled down, then? Last I heard, you were still wanting to explore the universe."

"Wanderlust seemed to leave my bones when the war broke out. It was then I realized I didn't have a place to call home any longer, so I found a quiet space to settle down in. You're welcome to come visit."

"Perhaps we will, once things are more settled here." Lwaxana gave him a tight-lipped smile, and Kate nodded a little, unconsciously leaning towards her lover as she did so. "Until then, we have important work to do here, which is why I requested the supplies."

"I completely understand," Kyle replied as he finished up his dessert. "This is just the first wave, since I was so close. Is there anything else we can do for your planet, Ambassador Troi?"

"I wish that I could give you something, but there's nothing that comes to mind. Katie, I'm taking Ian out to the garden, join me when you're ready."

Standing up, she swept out of the room, Ian trailing after her. Kyle watched them go, and this gave her the opportunity to make eye contact with Mister Homm, practically begging him to stay. There was a distinct voice calling him elsewhere, and he gave her a commiserating look as he rose to his feet and followed after them.

"Well, it was quite the surprise to see that you've ended up with an Ambassador. I never saw you as a ladder climber."

"I fell in love with her for her, not for her position. She's home, Kyle, just like you were home once in my life. I can't explain why my heart chose her, it just did."

"I get it, you don't need to explain to me. I could see by the looks you exchanged that this was the real deal. You're lucky, you know, to have found this with someone. Even if that truly does makes us ships passing in the night."

She nodded, surprised to feel tears in her eyes as she got up from the table and went over to his side, squeezing his shoulder warmly. "I guess that we are. I wish that things had turned out differently, but then I would never have met her. And she's probably the best thing that ever happened to me, honestly. But if you can, tell Will to bring Deanna here first. Lwaxana is really missing her daughter."

He stood and wrapped his arms around her in a warm hug, the kind she had loved to receive back in the day, and she melted against him for just a moment. "I will make certain I do that. Take care of each other, Kate."

"I'm trying."

He nodded and gave her a small wave before leaving the room. Kate went in the opposite direction, searching for what she was fast considering to be her family. A gentle voice in her head told her to head to the library, and she grinned as she veered off in the right direction. Lwaxana was sitting on the small settee, watching Ian and Mister Homm as they played.

She drifted over to her lover's side, and sank down next to her, sitting as close as decently possible. Lwaxana leaned against her arm, resting her head on Kate's shoulder as she grabbed hold of her hand. "I think that Ian is lonely."

"He might be. He doesn't really play with anyone his own age group. You know, there was this girl that I met when I was first arriving, and she seems to be about his age. Her name is Adrienne?"

Lwaxana nodded a little. "She comes from a good family, maybe we could have her over a few times." Kate smiled as she rubbed her thumb back and forth over the back of Lwaxana's hand. "You're so good at looking out for us, Katie. And you've done so much for my home. What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"I don't think that we can ever put into words how we fill these empty places in our lives, really. All I know is that you make my heart feel complete." Turning her head a little, Kate pressed her lips against Lwaxana's temple, listening to her sigh with contentment. "Do you think we should have Kyle here more often?"

The sharp squeeze to her hand told Kate all she needed to know, but still, she giggled a little, trying to let her lover know that she was teasing her. "You are thoroughly incorrigible at times, Katherine Pulaski."

"Someone has to rile you up. And who better to do it than me?" Lwaxana arched an eyebrow before leaning in and pecking at her lips. "I adore you."

"As do I. Following supper, we're going to retire to my room."

Kate probed her mind, trying to discern the importance behind those words. In her lover's mind, she could feel that there was something aching to be spoken, but Lwaxana was keeping a tight rein on it, not wanting to broadcast it to all and sundry. Nodding a little, she pulled Lwaxana closer, wanting her to be as close as possible as they continued to watch Ian.


	11. Chapter 11

"I'm probably only going to be able to say this once," Lwaxana said as they took a seat on the bed. Kate nodded as she curled up against her, and as Lwaxana rested her head on Kate's chest, she ran her hand up and down her back, trying to comfort her lover. "And this will only be the first part. There's so much to tell you, but I'm going to start with the easiest. I missed you, so much, during the Occupation. I couldn't tell you in the messages I was able to get out. I wanted to keep things light and hopeful. A part of my heart thought that if I remained optimistic to you, it would be easier to remain optimistic about this horrible situation."

Kate nodded a little as she spread her hand out on Lwaxana's back, tapping her fingers against it lightly. "I never wanted to bring you down, either. It was so important that I have you as a bright beacon of light in my life, and I was afraid that if I were to burden you too much with the horrors that I was facing, that I might burden you too much. And that was the last thing I wanted."

Lwaxana turned a little, reaching up to cup Kate's cheek, stroking her thumb against it. "I wouldn't have minded if you had told me more. You didn't need to keep it all inside."

"I know, but a part of me wanted to protect you. Ever since we became a couple, that's all I wanted to do." They sighed in unison, and then Lwaxana was closing the distance between them and kissing her gently. "I hated the war. I hated the death. Objectively, as a doctor, I know that death occurs for us all. That we all leave at our appointed time. But there didn't seem to be anything appointed about those deaths."

"The Jem'hadar are very easily suggestible under the right conditions," she said in a rush, lowering her head to bury it in the soft fabric of Kate's shirt as she slid her arm down to rest around Kate's waist, holding her tightly as she started to cry a little. "I, I didn't really think that it would be so, and it was only when the ketracel-white ran low that I was able to really affect them, but…"

Lwaxana paused, and Kate shuddered a little to feel the waves of self-recrimination roll of her lover. Holding her closer, Kate pressed her head against her chest, hoping that Lwaxana could focus on the beating of her heart rather than the chaotic thoughts that were roiling in her mind. "But you did what you had to do to survive and protect your family."

A mirthless laugh erupted from Lwaxana's lips as she shook her head, her fingers fiddling with the hem of Kate's shirt. "That is a pretty lie that I told myself at the beginning of the Occupation. But as the years wore on, pretty lies fell by the wayside as we did what we had to do. I, I became someone I didn't recognize. It should have haunted me more at the time. Maybe that's why I'm having such awful nightmares. Maybe I deserve every bad thing that's happening to me now."

Kate sighed deeply as she let her hands drift down to rest on Lwaxana's hips, drawing her even closer as she pressed soft kisses to the crown of her lover's head. "I feel like we've had a discussion like this in the past. And I have the same words for you now, as then. You did not deserve what happened to you. And while this time it didn't affect just you, I still have to ask you this. Do you honestly believe that something about your person caused this war?"

"No," Lwaxana replied softly, nuzzling her nose into the soft dip of Kate's shoulder.

"And is there anything that you, personally, could have done to prevented things from getting so out of control?"

"No. But Katie…"

"No, no buts, darling. You might have some new scars on your soul, there might be this weight on your heart that is telling you that you're someone who deserves this, but that is a vicious lie. Darling, darling, darling," she murmured as she rubbed her nose in the wig that Lwaxana was still wearing. "I wish that I could take this burden from you, that I could ethically excise these memories from your mind. But we both know that that cannot be."

"I know, Katie." They sighed in unison, and then Kate was lifting her hands up, removing the wig and slipping from the bed. "Don't leave me!"

"I'm not, Lwaxana. I'm just taking care of this. It looks expensive."

A soft laugh slipped from her lover's lips, and Kate was glad for the sound, since it was much lighter than her previous laugh. "You've always been practical, haven't you?"

Kate nodded as she placed the wig on the form in the closet. Coming out, she stripped as she made her way towards the bed, knowing that no matter what else happened this evening, she wanted to feel Lwaxana's skin against her own as they went to sleep. Lwaxana was similarly undressed by the time Kate reached the bed once more, and as she pulled back the covers, Kate raked her eyes up and down Lwaxana's naked body. It was much the same, and she smiled as she slipped beneath the covers, pulling her lover close.

A sound something closer to a purr slipped from Lwaxana's lips, and Kate smiled as she skimmed her fingers up and down her torso, relearning the sweet curves and soft skin there. "I've always had to be practical, you know. What person wants a frivolous, spacy, doctor? And I knew that I was going to be a doctor from the moment I was old enough to read about what Doctor McCoy did aboard the first _Enterprise_. I know, I know, everyone should be in awe of Ambassador Spock or Admiral Kirk, but Doctor McCoy, he just seemed to be a proper role model to a too serious girl like myself."

Lwaxana giggled lightly as she turned in Kate's arms and faced her. "I can see you as serious, Katie, but looking up to Leonard McCoy? It is a good thing that you never met him, since that would have gone straight to his head."

"Did you get to meet him, then?" she asked, glad that she had managed to turn the mood around a little. She hated to see Lwaxana hurting. Her lover gave her a knowing, open, smile and reached up to stroke her face before nodding.

"One of the perks of being an ambassador, I got to meet a lot of the old guard before they passed on. Though I must say that there were some stories that you would have loved to hear." Leaning in, Lwaxana kissed her softly, and then started to run her fingers through Kate's short hair. "I wish that I could remember some of the good yarns he told over many a diplomatic dinner, but I was probably a bit more than tipsy during most of them."

"I see," she said with a teasing tone, and Lwaxana shrugged a little as she scooted in closer, wrapping a leg around Kate's. "I know I've told you this before, but I've missed being in your arms. Being so close to you."

"I feel so at home with you here, Katie. I, I didn't realise how much I needed you."

"I know, I feel the same way." Kate focused her thoughts, trying to send a coherent thought to Lwaxana. Her lover blushed a little and nodded before sighing a little and resting her head on Kate's shoulder. "I guess I'm getting a little better at that."

"You are. And you're getting better at shielding your thoughts."

Kate smiled as she shrugged, bending her head a little to kiss the top of Lwaxna's head. "I think that I have an excellent teacher. I mean, how many others can say that they've been taught by a Daughter of the Fifth House?"

"Will you quit teasing me about that! I have to use my title in order for people to realise my importance. Though the necessary frivolity is a good façade for my work as an ambassador, it also worked against me in some instances."

"Maybe I like reminding you of your importance. Okay?"

"I suppose." They sighed in unison, and Kate rubbed her nose against Lwaxana's hair as she let her defenses come down. Vaguely, she could tell that Lwaxana was sending out feelers to her thoughts, and she nodded as she drew her in, letting her see all the things she had tried to keep hidden from her for so long. "You're mine."

"Forever," she replied as a large yawn split her lips. "I shouldn't be this tired."

"I think you might be leaching some of my negative emotions, Katie. Ian also found that he would get some of that residual, too." Lwaxana kissed her chest softly, before tightening her hold on Kate's waist. "Sleep, now, Katie. We'll talk more tomorrow, I promise." She nodded and let her eyes close heavily, feeling safe there in her arms.


	12. Chapter 12

The next day had proven to be one of the quieter ones Kate had had since opening the clinic on Betazed. Though she wasn't too bothered by that fact, since she hadn't had the best sleep. There had to have been a kernel of truth in what Lwaxana had told her about leaching emotions from her, since she dreams had been chaotic and terrifying at times. There were a few vague impressions that had stuck with her once she woke up, but nothing concrete had remained once she was alert.

Lwaxana had been there, stroking her face, smiling sadly at her, and Kate knew that she must have not been shielding well. Trying to push the maelstrom of negative emotions behind a strong wall, Kate had sat up and embraced her tightly, sending out waves of love. Lwaxana just nodded a little and rubbed her back softly before sending her on her way to the bathroom.

And now, she was nearing the end of her day, and all she wanted was nothing more than to be in her lover's arms, holding her close and focusing on her beautiful dark eyes. "That can easily be arranged, Katie."

Whirling around, Kate let her shoulders relax as she smiled widely at Lwaxana and held out an arm. Her lover glided over to her, elegance and grace dripping from her form. Her steps faltered a little, and Kate shook her head as she waggled her fingers at Lwaxana, beckoning her closer. Lwaxana smiled beguilingly as she swayed her hips slightly as she came closer and closer to her. "Do not make me wait, darling," she said lowly, feeling impatience starting to bite at the corners of her brain. A low laugh slipped from her lips as finally Lwaxana stepped into her arms, allowing Kate to pull her down into her lap and hold her close as she pressed a warm kiss to the pulse point on Lwaxana's neck.

"I was thinking…"

"Yes?"

"We could spend the rest of the day in bed? Bring up some food to the bedroom, and eat, and I can talk to you? I've felt this burning desire to finally, finally, open up to you. If you still want to hear my story."

Kate cupped her cheek gently as she gazed steadily into her lover's eyes. "Yes, I want to hear your story. I want you to share your hurts and burdens with me. I want to take some of that on me." Lwaxana nodded unsteadily before closing the distance between them and kissing her softly. "All right, let's raid the kitchen and then head up to your room."

"Our room. I had Mister Homm move your things there today, while you were here. There's no use in keeping up the pretense of separate rooms, is there?"

Kate shook her head as she gently pushed Lwaxana off her lap and then stood, taking hold of her hand and clasping it tightly as she let her lover lead her on towards the kitchen. There wasn't much need to talk on the way there, since Kate knew that they would be doing their share of talking later on, once they were safe. From the soft squeeze on her hand, to the tender thoughts being sent her way, Kate knew that Lwaxana had heard her thoughts, and they sighed in unison as they turned into the kitchen.

She hopped up onto the table and watched as Lwaxana gathered up some food for them to nibble on during their time in their bedroom. A warm feeling of completion washed over her as Lwaxana looked her way and winked. The flirty side of her lover always set her at ease, and seeing it come out now, before they were going to have a serious talk, helped Kate know that somehow, things were going to be all right in the end.

Finally, Lwaxana had all the food gathered, and they made their way to their bedroom. Kate smiled to see a few of her things set out around the room, making it really feel like hers, and then her eyes fell on the bed. There, laid out over the sumptuous silks that were Lwaxana's hallmark, was her quilt, and she felt tears gather in the corner of her eyes as they walked over to the bed and took a seat. "I, I forgot this aboard the ship."

"I know. And I had Mister Homm send for it. There are perks to being a diplomat, and having friends in high places." Kate nodded as she scooted closer to Lwaxana and grabbed some fruit from the bowl, popping a piece in her mouth as she reclined against the headboard. "I want this to feel like home, Katie, for however long you choose to stay with me. I'm not going to trap you, or beg you to stay. I'll just take whatever time you give me."

Lwaxana looked so sad in that moment, and Kate felt her heart lurch painfully as she leaned in and claimed her lover's lips in a soft, loving, kiss. A sigh slipped from both their lips before Lwaxana slid down her body and rested her head in Kate's lap, staring up at her. "I would give you everything," she whispered as she stroked her fingers along her lover's forehead and nose.

A tiny smile flitted over Lwaxana's lips as she nodded a little, taking a deep breath. "And I think that's why I trust you so much. A few people out there, they guess at what I went through with the Ferengi, and then with what I did to survive and make certain my people survived as unscathed as possible." A picture of Lwaxana, sobbing, very clearly came into her mind, and she slipped her hand down her lover's face and over her chest, pressing it against where she knew her heart to be. Lwaxana drew in a shuddery breath before resting her hand atop Kate's, her thumb rubbing back and forth as if to remind herself that Kate was still there. "I killed so many people."

Those words felt like they were dragged from the darkest place of Lwaxana's soul, and Kate sighed as she set aside the food, knowing that there was no way they'd be doing any more eating at the moment. And then, in one quick movement, she pulled her quilt over them as she stretched out alongside her beloved.

"I don't know why you love me."

"Because you're my _Imzadi_ ," she murmured. "I'm not too certain what all that entails, but Worf seemed to feel like that fit the way I feel for you."

"Then you're soulmates with a monster." The whispered words tore at Kate's soul, and she shook her head a little before maneuvering herself so that she could press gentle kisses to Lwaxana's face. "Katie…"

"You are not a monster, Lwaxana. You are a Daughter of the Fifth House. You stood up to an occupying force and did all that you could to ensure that your people were kept safe from them. Yes, you weren't as successful as you wanted. Yes, you were forced to do things that were damaging to your soul. But you made it out to the other side, and though a part of yourself is broken right now, you're still here. You're still reaching out to me…"

"I wouldn't have, if you hadn't come here. I wouldn't burden you with this disgusting side of me."

"Hush," she murmured as she threw an arm around Lwaxana's waist and pulled her closer, molding their bodies together as she hummed lowly in Lwaxana's ear. Slowly, her lover relaxed against her, burying her face in the crook of Kate's neck, and letting herself sob. "I have you, darling. I won't let you go."

"I know you won't, Katie," Lwaxana whispered, her lips brushing against Kate's skin, sending a delicious frisson of desire running down her spine. She tried to stamp down that feeling, since it was inappropriate in their current situation, but then Lwaxana was sending over a very persistent thought. _I have missed this, you know_.

"I know. And I've missed that, too. I just want to make certain that you're ready. I don't want to push you in order to take care of my needs."

A soft trill of laughter slipped out of Lwaxana's lips, and Kate smiled at the sound. It seemed like it had been years since she had heard that sweet noise, and she grinned as she leaned in and kissed her tenderly. "You know that I can push just as well as you can. I very nearly pushed you away."

"Then it's a good thing that I'm as stubborn as you, isn't it?" she quipped lightly as she trailed her hand up and down Lwaxana's flank. Before she could stop herself, a large yawn split her lips, and she buried her face in her lover's hair to try and hide it, wanting to talk more. Tightening her arm around Lwaxana's waist, she peppered her shoulder with kisses, even as she tried to focus on staying awake and open for her.

"I'm good right now, darling. Knowing that you won't push me away for what I did, I think I can be freer with you. If you need to sleep now, we sleep. There's time enough for sex later on." Kate nodded and snuggled in even closer, throwing on leg possessively over Lwaxana's and allowing her mind to drift away as she sent happy, loving, thoughts out in the air.


	13. Chapter 13

Kate woke a few hours later to the delicious sensation of Lwaxana's nimble fingers closing around her nipple and tugging at it slowly. Moaning in desire, she turned to face her lover and pressed a large, open mouthed, kiss to her lips, wrapping her arms around her waist as she tried to flip her lover onto her back. Lwaxana shook her head a little as she straddled Kate's waist, holding her arms lightly above her head as she leaned in to kiss her even more fiercely.

"You are horrible at keeping your dream thoughts in check, Katie!" she said in a slightly teasing chastisement. Kate blushed a little as she bowed her head, only to hear Lwaxana laugh lustily before she kissed her once more. "Really, though, it was lovely to be overwhelmed by your naughty thoughts. My mind was heading to a dark place, and then you woke me with the desire to do something to chase those thoughts away. Care to act out on a few of them? We fell asleep rather early, so the night stretches before us unfettered."

There was no way on any planet that she could refuse that invitation, so she dipped her head in a slight bob, letting a thoroughly carnal look sweep over her features as she reached out to probe Lwaxana's mind. She was surprised to find that it was open to her, and that she could read the desire plain in her mind. Tilting her head up, she accepted the kiss that she knew was coming, letting her body curve into Lwaxana's as the desire continued to grow between them, fueled by their thoughts combining. Kate slid one hand down between their legs, letting her fingers tease at Lwaxana's labia, enjoying the feel of her desire coating them as she careful fitted a few digits into her channel.

A high, thready, gasp slipped from her lover's lips, and Kate let the corners of her mouth turn up in pleasure as she curved her fingers just so, finding that delicious erogenous spot so easily, even after all this time apart. To her surprise, Lwaxana was all too quickly orgasming, her features flushed, her lips parted in a silent moan. Frowning a little, Kate dipped her head in for another kiss, trying to figure out how she had managed to let things escape her control so quickly.

"I haven't had this sweet release in ages, my love," Lwaxana panted out as she ran her hands up and down Kate's back, pressing their foreheads together as she stared into her eyes. "I was always a quick fuse with my lover when we've been parted for too long. Ian knew to expect it, and I never told you."

"But now I know. And I will definitely remember that if we're ever parted for longer than a few weeks." Her lips started to quiver and Lwaxana tilted her head to one side, her eyebrows furrowing together as she sighed gently before capturing Kate's lips in a sweet, deep, kiss and pushing her back onto the mattress, gently positioning her arms above her head as the kiss lingered.

Kate knew enough not to protest or move her arms, letting Lwaxana have her way. It was important that she feel safe and able to exercise her desires, plus Kate had missed this gentle domination, missed being able to give up complete control to someone who had only her best interests at heart. And from the effusive wave of joy that flooded her mind, she knew that she hadn't shielded her thoughts very well, if at all. "You never seem to do that when it comes to loving me," Lwaxana replied with a gentle laugh.

"You're easy to love, what can I say?" she quipped before pouting out her lips. Her lover shook her head a little before ghosting a kiss against them. "More?"

"Oh, there is so much more where that came from," she murmured before pressing another quick kiss to her lips. Kate sighed a little with pleasure as Lwaxana began to press even more soft kisses against her face, lingering tenderly on her eyes before moving down the planes of her face and nipping at the lobe of her ear before using her tongue to trace the shell of it. Kate shivered and gasped as she arched her body upwards, trying to come in contact with that glorious skin of Lwaxana's. "None of that now, darling. You have to have a little patience with me."

A high-pitched whine tumbled from her lips as she tried to nod, smirking a little at the heated look she was given. And then, rational thought fled her mind as Lwaxana began to draw patterns down her neck with her tongue. Kate almost felt like her skin was on fire from the touch of her lover, and a delicious giggle rumbled against her skin. "Yes," she hissed, once more arching her back, offering up her breasts to be loved on by Lwaxana.

In her mind, she could clearly hear the running litany of dirty things that Lwaxana wanted to do to her, and it just ramped up the desire thrumming through her system. And then her lover's mouth was closing around one of her nipples, sucking strongly and making her see stars. Unbidden, her thighs parted, and Lwaxana fitted herself between them easily, her hands running up and down her side as she began to push her tongue against the turgid peak still in her mouth.

Just as she started to reach the peak of her pleasure, Lwaxana pulled away a little, causing Kate to whimper and start to move her arms, wanting to feel her lover close once more. "Katie, I don't want you to get off so quickly, like me. I want to prolong this for you."

"Maybe I just want to feel that pleasure with you, now. Maybe it's been too long since we were like this, and I've forgotten that tight, heady, feeling of losing control in your arms, knowing that you'll be there to catch me when I come back to earth. _Imzadi_ , please," she begged, allowing her body to fall completely open to Lwaxana, tears pooling in the corner of her eyes.

Lwaxana smiled tenderly at her, finally taking hold of Kate's hands and bringing them down to rest on her hips as they kissed. There was something so very tender about this kiss, and Kate pressed her body against Lwaxana's as best she could, tightening her arms around her waist as she pulled her down ever closer to her, allowing the primal feeling of desire to ramp up in her once more. Vaguely, she could feel their bodies shift and move, Lwaxana's thigh coming between her legs and pressing against her vulva. The pressure was enough to make her sigh and grunt as she began to move her hips, using the friction to push her closer and closer to orgasm. "Let me," Lwaxana panted out, and Kate nodded as she felt her lover's fingers slip between her labia to seek out her clit, teasing it softly with her thumb as she fitted three fingers into her channel and began to thrust in and out in a lazy rhythm that she knew drove Kate wild.

"Yes," she groaned out, grinding against Lwaxana's hand, striving to find her completion in her beloved's arms once more. She came with a loud moan that Lwaxana swallowed with her lips, kissing her deeply as she continued to stimulate her through her orgasm. It seemed to go on forever, and Kate shuddered and shifted, reaching down between Lwaxana's legs to stimulate her lover and push her to orgasm so that they could find their pleasure together.

_My_ Imzadi, _that was perfect_ , Lwaxana murmured in her mind, and Kate smiled lazily as she snuggled back into the mattress, welcoming the comforting weight of Lwaxana's body coming to rest atop hers. _You are perfect._

"Don't give me a big head," she teased as she ran her fingers up and down her lover's back, letting their breaths sync up as a peace fell about the room, a quiet that had been lacking for weeks, despite their being together. Kate let out a soft sigh of contentment as she maneuvered her head so that she could press a kiss to Lwaxana's cheek. "I needed this. More than I knew."

"I would agree most heartily," Lwaxana whispered as she pulled the sheet up around their shoulders before letting her head come to rest on Kate's chest. "And I am so glad that you didn't listen to me, when I yelled at you in orbit. I didn't want you here, I didn't want you to see the shell of a person I had become. But you came anyway, and that means the world to me."

"You mean the world to me."

Lwaxana let out a soft murmur of agreement as she nuzzled her cheek against Kate's bare skin. The move sent a gentle pang of longing through her, but Kate knew they both needed a little time to just relax and rest, so she reached up and ran her fingers through Lwaxana's short hair, further relaxing them until they were both falling into a deep, much needed, sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

Kate was in the middle of a sweet dream, where Lwaxana and she were vacationing on Risa with Ian, happy and carefree, awaiting Will and Deanna to join them, when she was startled awake by a sharp scream. Snapping open her eyes, she swiveled her head around the room, trying to find the source of the sound. It took her an extra second to register that the sound wasn't audible, instead in her mind, and she turned to see that Lwaxana was still locked in sleep's tight embrace, her face contorted into a mask of pain and horror.

Reaching out, she rubbed her hand along Lwaxana's shoulder, wanting to gently wake her from her nightmare. That seemed to have no effect on her, so Kate bent in and pressed a tender kiss to her lips, trying to probe into her lover's mind and let her know that she was still there, and that she wanted to help her. Finally, finally, she felt a tendril of Lwaxana's mind reach out and brush against hers, and she kept thinking a litany of soft, gentle, thoughts at her, coaxing her out of her sleep.

Then Lwaxana's eyes were opening, searching desperately for her in the semi-dark. Kate nodded a little as she held out her arms, welcoming her lover close to her heart. "What is it, _Imzadi_?" she asked before pressing her lips to Lwaxana's forehead.

"I was trapped, there was nothing I could do. I had to kill him. I had to. He was going to violate me, and then kill Ian. I, I, I…" Her words all jumbled together as she fought to get everything out of her heart, and Kate just nodded a little as she pressed her lover's head close to her chest before starting to rock them back and forth, crooning lightly to her. The words garbled into whimpers and then full on sobs as Lwaxana tried to bury herself in Kate's body.

"Calm your heart, darling," she whispered as she ran her hands up and down Lwaxana's back. It took a long time, but finally, her breathing slowed and evened out, and she pulled away to look at Kate. They nodded at each other before Lwaxana looked over her shoulder, giving someone else a small nod. Turning her head a little, she saw Mister Homm standing in the doorway, giving them a concerned look, and Kate also nodded, knowing that she had to set his mind at ease before he would go back to sleep. "I have her," she said, her voice still thick with sleep and sorrow.

Mister Homm inclined his head before blinking slowly, as if he was acknowledging the subtle shift that had happened in her relationship with Lwaxana that evening, and then turning to leave the bedroom. "He means well."

"He loves you. Not like I love you, but…"

"I know what you mean, Katie. It can get to be a little much, though, when you just want to be left alone to heal." She nodded a little before letting out another hum. "Kate?"

"Yes?"

"My hands are covered in blood that I can never wash off. I killed or mentally destroyed so many people, and I know that it had to be done, that it was the lesser evil of the options in front of me. But I don't think that I'll ever be clean again."

Kate shook her head a little, wanting to impart to Lwaxana that she was wrong, that in time she would find herself healing and moving on. But she knew that those words were trite and meaningless compared to what her lover was feeling in that moment, so she kept her mouth shut as she waited for her to speak once more. Lwaxana sighed deeply before kissing her neck and moving closer once more, slinging her arm around Kate's shoulders and holding her tightly.

"There wasn't much time to prepare for the occupation. We just woke up one morning and they were there. A Founder came to each of the houses of the ruling class first, which meant that a small contingent of soldiers also stormed into our house. Ian hid in the garden, but he was easily found by one of those monsters, and I wanted to claw his fucking heart out of his chest when I felt the sheer terror radiating off my child's body in strong waves. He was the first one I killed. I felt no remorse then, and even though I feel guilt for my actions in general? I feel nothing for taking his life from him."

"You were protecting your child. I probably would do the same, if I had a child."

"It was revenge, Katie. It wasn't necessary in that moment. It wasn't called for. I hunted him down across our planet, waited until he was almost out of his dose of ketracel white, and then quietly crept up behind him, dagger in hand, and slit his throat. My hand was dragging the dagger slowly, I reveled in his cries of pain as he bled out on the ground in front of us, and I felt nothing more than the heady joy at knowing I had snuffed out the life of the person who had terrorized my son."

Lwaxana's voice was tight, bitter, and Kate nodded a little as she hooked her chin over Lwaxana's shoulder as she struggled to keep from crying herself. "I don't have words, _Imzadi_ , to make you feel better. This doctor's heart doesn't know how to fix this, other than by holding you close and telling you that I love you."

"Maybe that will be enough, Kate. I pray to the gods that it is." She drew in a shuddery breath. "It was easier to kill after that first taste. And if I found myself squeamish in mentally manipulating the Jem'hadar, I drew upon the anger and hate I still harbor in my heart for that abominable Ferengi. I became someone that I didn't recognize, and what's worse, Ian became afraid of me for a time. It was as if he could read my hidden heart, despite all my best shields and defenses, and saw my true measure. My true worth."

Kate shook her head quickly before gently lifting Lwaxana's chin with the back of her hand. It pained her to notice that Lwaxana avoided her eyes, and she let out a soft sigh before pressing their lips together. It took a moment for Lwaxana to respond, but then she was kissing her back softly, her lips moving against Kate's in what felt like a repetitive litany of something. Letting the kiss end, she pulled away, only to her hear name being whispered over and over. Each time it fell from Lwaxana's lips, she felt a warm rush of love sweep over her, and she sighed a little as she cradled her lover close to her chest, pressing her cheek firmly to the top of Lwaxana's head. "Your true worth is not measured by what you did under duress, please, believe me. And perhaps Ian just picked up on your heartbreak. Kids always seem to pick up on feelings a lot easier than we give them credit for."

"Perhaps." Kate could feel Lwaxana smile against her chest, and she smiled a little, too. "We're just now getting back to even keel, as Jean Luc might say. Your presence has made all the difference, I believe."

"I highly doubt…."

"No, it's true. Ever since you came home –" Lwaxana broke off suddenly before tucking her chin closer against her chest. "Ever since you came here," she started again, quieter this time, "we've been a little more open with each other. You have a healer's touch, Katie, what can I say?"

There was a short pause before Kate nodded, trying to hold in the yawn threatening to leave her body. "I'm just glad that something pushed me to come here. To not take no for an answer. To show up on your doorstep and not leave until you had seen me." Towards the end of her words, the yawn finally escaped her mouth, and a light chuckle slipped from Lwaxana's lips. "I'm so sorry, _Imzadi_."

"Don't be, we wore ourselves out emotionally and physically tonight. And I think I might be ready to sleep better this time. Okay?"

"Okay." They wriggled around on the bed until they were prone once more, and Kate found herself with a silly little grin on her lips when Lwaxana finally met her gaze, a far more peaceful look in her eyes than when she had woken up. "Sleep well, Lwaxana."

"I'll try, Kate." Lwaxana stroked her face gently before letting her eyes close heavily, her face relaxing a little more. Kate found herself content to watch her lover drift off into slumber, and she lightly brushed her fingers up and down her lover's arm as she tried to calm her thoughts down enough so that she, too, could fall asleep. And then, in her mind, she could clearly make out her beloved singing her favorite lullaby from her childhood. Laughing a little, she took the hint and let her eyes close once more as she snuggled in close to Lwaxana and pulled her quilt up around them, the familiar scents of the fabric and her lover mingling together lulling her back into an easy slumber.


	15. Chapter 15

The mattress bouncing wildly later that morning woke Kate up from her deep sleep, and she blinked rapidly, trying to clear the cobwebs of slumber from her brain. Looking around, she finally focused in on Ian, bouncing on his knees, grinning at them widely. "Good morning, Mothers."

Mothers. Plural. That was new and unexpected, and Kate turned her head to look at Lwaxana, who was holding the quilt close to her chest as she smiled at her son fondly. "Is there a reason why you've woken us up so early, child?"

"Well, someone let their shields down last night, and was broadcasting really loudly."

Kate began to blush, trying not to think about what she could have possibly revealed about what had been happening in their bedroom last night. Lwaxana laughed as she reached out to pat Kate's head softly before tugging her closer. "Which one of us wasn't careful?" she asked as Ian crawled up to their heads, stretching out alongside Kate and letting his head thump down heavily on her bare shoulder. It was a welcome weight, and she had to fight the urge to reach up and run her fingers through his dark curls, his hair reminding her so much of Deanna's.

"You. Your joy radiated off you like an explosion, and it woke me up. You haven't felt like that in so long. And you can play with my hair, Mother. I won't mind."

Kate fought to keep from tearing up as she snuggled Ian closer to her, keeping the quilt up high so as to preserve some of her modesty. She knew, from what she had researched, that Betazoid modesty standards were quite different from human ones, but she wasn't quite ready to just show everything off. Lwaxana reached out and rubbed her shoulder softly, a light chuckle falling from her lips before she reached over and tousled Ian's hair. "It's good to feel joyful, after all these months of sadness. Is Mister Homm up yet?"

"He's preparing breakfast for all of us, Mother."

Lwaxana smiled at her, and Kate gave a small nod, somehow knowing what she was going to say next. "Well, how about you go down and help him out, so that Kate and I can get ready for the day? I think that she'd feel a little more comfortable with that."

"Okay!" He leaned in close and pressed his lips to her cheek before slipping off the bed and traipsing over to the door. Once it had shut with a loud bang, they sat up, and Kate let the quilt pool around her waist as she turned and pressed her lips against Lwaxana's forehead.

"He thinks of me as another mother. _Imzadi_ , are you all right with that?"

"Perfectly. Ian loves you, it's clear, and if he's happy, I'm happier." Lwaxana gave her a quick kiss before cupping one breast and swiping her thumb against Kate's nipple, stimulating her to distraction. "But we're not going to have time for this, this morning. Unfortunately."

She pinched her nipple quickly before pushing Kate aside and slipping out of bed. Kate couldn't help but watch her lover as she walked, taking in the elegant lines of her back and buttocks, the way her hips swayed sensuously as she stepped into the closet to look for something to wear that morning. Letting out a soft groan, Kate scrambled from the bed and jogged over to her lover's side, wrapping her arms around Lwaxana's waist and holding her close as she rained kisses down upon her shoulders. "I want nothing more than to lead you back to bed and make love to you for hours upon time."

"That would be lovely, yes, but we're expected." Lwaxana leaned back against Kate's chest as she brought her hands up to cup her breasts. "I keep this image in my mind when things get a little too boring in my day. I just thought you should know that."

"No, you just want to put me through a most delicious torture by now putting that image in my head." She nipped a little indelicately at Lwaxana's shoulder, watching the skin turn a bright red as her lover squirmed against her. "But we really should get ready for the day," she said as she took a tiny step away from her and started to thumb through her clothes, trying to act as nonchalant as possible. From the very lascivious visions she was receiving in her mind, she knew that she may have pushed Lwaxana just a little too far, but she found that she didn't really mind, since it meant that she was able to tease her without upsetting her.

"I'll just make it up to you tonight, Katie," Lwaxana murmured in her ear before kissing it. Kate nodded, feeling a deep desire pool in the pit of her stomach. Her legs turned quivery as she stepped into a fresh pair of panties, slipping into the bra Lwaxana handed her moments later. "You know, you don't have to wear that here. I don't."

"I know you don't, but I've spent most of my life in one, it would be a hard habit to break at this point. And besides, it makes you work harder to get me nude."

"Exactly! You should let your lover have easy access to your body." She turned and arched one eyebrow upwards as she looked at Lwaxana. "I was never a prude, darling."

"And I wouldn't expect you to be. I just think that it will take a bit of time for me to get more accustomed to the mores of Betazoid culture. Maybe when I've been here a year or two, things will be a little easier for me. Don't give up on me just yet!"

A dreamy, sad, look settled on Lwaxana's features as she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Kate's waist, holding her close as a few shuddering breaths. Gone was the earlier teasing, replaced with a delicate yearning, and Kate welcomed the change in mood as she returned the embrace. "I would never give up on you, Katherine Pulaski. Never." The ferocity didn't surprise her, and she nuzzled her nose in the curve of Lwaxana's neck, pressing a few soft kisses to the skin she could find as she allowed her to just hold on to her. "You've brought me so much happiness, and I will eternally be grateful to you for that."

"And I will always be grateful for the fact that you showed me that I could still find a soulmate at my age. We were meant to be together at this point in our lives, and I wouldn't ask for it to be any other way." Lwaxana turned her head, and gave her a gentle kiss. "But I suppose that I should finish getting ready, huh?"  
"Yes, darling. Even though I would love to see you dressed only in that, I know that you would feel distinctly underdressed." Lwaxana stepped away, taking hold of the top in Kate's hands and shaking her head a little. "Wear something colorful today. For me."

"Okay." She turned back to her clothing and thumbed through the tops until her hand landed on a blouse that would complement what Lwaxana was wearing. When she went to pull on a pair of trousers, she was once more stopped and then handed a flowy skirt that was more in the tradition of Betazoid women. "When did this get made?"

"One of the patients you treated last week, their mother is one of our best seamstresses. I had her make a few for you, just in case you wanted to fit in a little. Not that you have to, of course! I just thought that it might be nice for a change?"

Lwaxana was thoroughly adorable when she was flustered, and Kate smiled as she nodded, stepping into the skirt and fastening it, not surprised to find that it fit perfectly. There was something to be said about the soft way it moved against her legs. "You just wanted me in a skirt because it's easier access for you," she teased, watching Lwaxana's cheeks flush as she dug her toe into the soft carpet.

"Guilty," she replied before holding out her hand to Kate. She let out a little trill of laughter as she slid her hand home, once more marveling at how right it felt to be like this, to know that she belonged to Lwaxana. "I don't own you."

"In the best possible way, you do," she replied, squeezing her hand tightly as they began to make their way down to the dining room. She could feel the way that Lwaxana rolled her eyes, and she just shrugged a little, knowing that she was right. There was a certain type of possessiveness that came with being another person's heart, and she wondered how long it would take for her lover to realise that this was not anything she could ever change about herself.

"I don't ever want you to change because of me. I want you to be you."

Kate stopped them just outside the dining room, gently turning Lwaxana to face her. "With you, I find myself becoming my best self." Their eyes met, and Kate fought to keep from tearing up the longer she looked. "That's what love does." It took a moment for Lwaxana to nod in response, but finally she did, and Kate gave her a gentle kiss before leading them into the dining room.


	16. Chapter 16

Kate was startled to find that they had a visitor in the dining room, and she tried to smooth out invisible wrinkles in her skirt as Lwaxana breezed over to the woman and kissed her cheek diplomatically before gesturing for Kate to take a seat at the table next to her. Frantically, she sent a thought to Lwaxana, only to see her dip her head regally as she once more gestured to her chair. Letting out a long breath, she stalked over to said chair and took a seat as elegantly as she could.

She felt a small probe in her brain, and instantly she put up a block to keep this new person out. From the smirk on Lwaxana's face, she knew that she had felt the block go up. "Minister Liggett, I'd like you to officially meet my partner, Doctor Katherine Pulaski. Katie, Minister Liggett."

She turned and smiled at the woman, holding out her hand. The woman shook it firmly, and then they were sitting back in their chairs, regarding one another closely. She made certain to draw herself up to her full height, giving her a cool look. "You're a credit to the Federation, Doctor Pulaski, and the work you've done here has been life changing."

"Thank you," she murmured in reply as she looked down at the plate in front of her. To her surprise, the meal consisted of all her Terran favorites, and she shot a quick look of thanks to Mister Homm, watching him tip his head a little before nodding at the plate. That was when she knew that the choice in meals had been deliberately in her favor. "So, what brings you here today?"

"I just thought that I would check up on your clinic and see if you needed anything more to help the recovery effort."

It was a facile lie, one that both she and Lwaxana picked up on, from the tender smile that her lover gave her. "Everything has been running quite smoothly, actually. The Federation has been quite good at keeping our supplies well stocked, and ensuring that anything I need is here almost as soon as I requisition it. It pays to be in a relationship with the Ambassador of a planet." She gave a tight smile to Minister Liggett before digging into her food and allowing a more natural conversation to take place between Lwaxana and the Minister.

Feeling a soft hand pat her arm, she looked over to see Ian staring up at her, a bored look on his face. "May I be excused, Mother Kate?"

Every air molecule seemed to freeze as Minister Liggett turned her head and focused her gaze on Kate, shock written all over her features. Quickly, she threw up a shield so as to give herself space to think about why those words had drawn that reaction from the woman. There didn't seem to be any taboo in Betazoid culture that would impact their relationship, but there might be some obscure point that she might have missed in her research, when she had turned her focus mostly onto helping the people and loving Lwaxana, and not thinking about blending in more to the culture. Finally, she turned her focus back on Ian, and reached out, ruffling his hair.

"If you're finished eating, yes, you may."

He grinned and nodded before standing up and walking sedately from the room. From the energy that thrummed off of him, though, Kate knew that he was just itching to run from the room and find something much more interesting to do.

"He's really coming out of his shell, Katie, and it's all thanks to you."

She turned her head to look at Lwaxana, a pleased smile on her lips as she shrugged. "He's easy to love. And since I never have children on my own, it's nice to experience even a little of that." Lwaxana gave her a small wink, letting her know that her intention had been received loud and clear.

"Oh, you never had children?" Minister Liggett asked, sounding surprised, and she shook her head. "Was that a personal or professional decision?"  
"A little bit of both, actually. The first few starships I was assigned to were not family friendly, so my husbands and I never tried to have a child. And by the time I reached a ship that was conducive to having children aboard, I was single and not really looking to raise a baby on my own, especially with the responsibilities of being CMO."

The woman gave her an over-exaggerated nod, and Kate felt, in that moment, like she wasn't welcome there. Which was ridiculous. She hoped. After all, Lwaxana hadn't wanted her there to begin with, and maybe that was because of judgement from people like Minister Liggett. Without really knowing why, sadness filled her heart, and she stared down at her plate as she started to pick at the remains of her food, finding herself no longer hungry.

As the first tears began to roll down her cheeks, she heard the scrape of a chair, and the sound of unfamiliar steps crossing the floor and leaving. Once the dining room door had closed, Lwaxana rushed over to her side and took a seat next to her, reaching out and taking firm hold of her hand. "There are people on this planet who still don't approve of me, of this. I'm sorry."

"And yet, I still love you, and I think that I will until all the seas of Titan run dry." A watery laugh escaped Lwaxana's lips and then she was leaning in and kissing her cheek gently. "And given that the entire moon is made of water, I don't think that will ever happen."

Lwaxana nodded a little before kissing her once more. "You are a bright star in my life, Katie. I wish that I felt like I deserved you, that you really want to stay here with me. I love you, so much that it overwhelms me at times, and the selfish part of my brain wants to keep you here for all eternity. But I know that I can't be selfish, I can't hold you here, despite what every fibre of my being is screaming at me. Please, be free, even if that does mean you're apart from me."

Before Kate could say a word, Lwaxana pushed away from the table and ran from the room, sobs tearing from her throat as she went. Wordlessly, she looked at Mister Homm, but his face was a placid mask, and there were no stray thoughts escaping from behind his shield. Her own tears pooled in her eyes as she looked down at her plate, trying to make sense of how quickly everything had gone to hell. "She loves me, but she doesn't want me," she whispered as she pressed her hands against her stomach, trying to stop the roiling there.

_That's not quite what she said, now is it?_ Kate looked up at the man, her eyebrows knitting together. _She doesn't want to hold you here. There's a big difference. And if you still think that you could possibly love her, why don't you run after her?_

She bit her lip, trying to figure out if she truly wanted to do that. A part of her wanted to be chased herself, instead of always doing the chasing. From the low sound of disapproval that rumbled from Mister Homm's throat, she knew that she was making the wrong choice, that Lwaxana perhaps needed to be shown her worth to Kate. The first fresh tears started to roll down her cheeks as she looked at the man, trying to find words to describe what she was feeling. "I want to, but what if she pushes me away again? It took so much out of me to come here in the first place, but knowing that this is the second time I've been held at arm's length, and well, it hurts. I'm trying not to be oversensitive, truly, but since I've been here, my feelings have been off kilter, closer to the surface, as if I could feel what everyone else on this planet is feeling. Please, help me."

The smile that curved his lips was sad, but hopeful, and she pursed her lips together as she waited for another answer from him. As she watched, he stood and approached her side, reaching his hand out and setting it on her shoulder gently. _You need to get up and take that first step, Kate._

She stared up into his face, tears still rolling down her cheeks as she gave him a small nod. Drawing in a deep breath, she stood and then wiped roughly at her cheeks, trying to clear them of the tears that refused to stop. "Should I be here? Really?"

"I think that you know the answer to that," he said aloud, and she nodded again. "Go, before you lose your courage."

Drawing herself up to her full height, she gave him a steady nod before stepping into his personal space and reaching up to place her hand against his cheek. "I'm sorry that I'm so discombobulated. I knew that this wouldn't be easy when I came, but it's harder than I expected it to be. Loving Lwaxana is easy, it's the other things that seem to be holding me up. And I know that they don't really matter, in the long run, but sometimes, it's difficult to keep that in mind."

And before he could tell her anything more, she turned on her heel and stumbled from the room, intent on finding her lover and setting everything to rights between them.


	17. Chapter 17

Kate frowned deeply as she tried to focus in on Lwaxana's thoughts, knowing that she could use them to find her way to her. It seemed like her lover's shields were firmly in place, however, since she couldn't get any read on where she might be. And so, her frown turned into more of a glare as she began to stomp around the lower level of the house. Ian peeked out of the library, giving her a little wave before disappearing from view once more.

She let out a huff of frustration, since that move told her that Lwaxana was not with Ian, which left her no closer to finding her _Imzadi_. Pursing her lips into a tight bow, she finally went over to the garden doors, threw one open, and stalked over to the bench by the pond. The cool stone bled through the fabric of her skirt, and she shivered violently as she stared into the tranquil water.

As the peace of nature finally began to draw her from her funk, Kate began to really listen to what was going on around her, and a tiny smile danced on her lips when she heard the birds chirping and singing as they flew through the air.

_They're not birds_.

Her back stiffened a little at the intrusion of Lwaxana's voice, and she had to steel herself to keep from looking around for her lover. "I know they're not birds, but that's the closest animal I can think of to describe what I'm hearing."

The rustle of leaves moving to her left told her that Lwaxana was on the move, coming closer to her, and still she sat still, not wanting to spook her lover. The warmth of her body next to Kate had her bending her body to be in closer contact with her _Imzadi_. "So, when do you want me to call your ship? I can probably have you back there in a week or less, if you're intent on being back there."

She sighed deeply as she slung her arm around Lwaxana's waist, drawing her closer to her side and resting her head on her shoulder. "Is that really all it takes for you to send me packing? Some Minister who doesn't approve of two women falling in love? I thought you were a Daughter of the Fifth House?"

Lwaxana let out a watery laugh as she rested her cheek on Kate's head. "Maybe I'm not strong enough."

"For what?"

"For watching you get hurt by the prejudices of certain backwards people. For seeing your heart pull away from me, centimeter by centimeter, even as you swear that you still love me, but knowing that those words become more and more hollow as the days go by."

They sighed in tandem, and then Kate was turning to look at her lover, reaching up to cup her cheek in a move reminiscent of the earlier touch she had given Mister Homm. "I know that you want to protect my heart. From every bad thing that could possibly happen, and what might never happen. You want to be strong for the both of us, and carry a weight that I never asked you to. I just want you to know that I am tougher than you think, my darling _Imzadi_."

"Katie…"

"No, Lwaxana. You cannot protest this. Listen to me." She grabbed hold of her partner's hand and brought it up to her chest, spreading it out over her heart. "You were the star that guided me home, here, to my family. We were made for each other, in a way that I never realized until I had settled in here with you. If you were to send me away now, well, I don't think that I could ever live a normal life were I to be parted from you."

Lwaxana sighed a little as she shook her head. "You have such pretty words for me…"

"Then delve into my brain. I know that you can do that, I know that you can see into my hidden corners and the nooks and crannies that I've forgotten about, and I welcome you in me. Search out my thoughts, and see that my words are far from pretty. They're desperate, clingy, everything that I never wanted to be. Because you fill me with a desperate desire to never be parted from you."

She didn't bother to hide her tears from Lwaxana, letting them roll off her face to drop into her wig. Closing her eyes, she reached out with her mind, trying to get Lwaxana to respond. And then, her lover came crashing into her mind, and the wave of thoughts soon overwhelmed her, and she clutched Lwaxana close to her chest even as she welcomed her to delve deeper. It was odd, that sensation of being completely open to her, the intimacy even closer than their heart to heart the previous evening.

"There's nothing that I'm going to say that will cause you to change your mind."

"No, I'm just as stubborn as you, and you know it. You probably know everything about me, now."

"No, I only sifted through to find the relevant memories and thoughts, and I wasn't inside your mind long enough to dig deep. You wear your love for me at the top of your thoughts, and I think that that will always draw me closer to you. Just know, that at any time, you can leave, and I won't begrudge you that. Because I do love you so much."

Their faces naturally turned to each other, their lips touching in a holy, reverent, moment of a kiss. There was something so sweet about the embrace, and she sighed lightly before bringing her forehead to rest against Lwaxana's. "I never imagined myself getting so soppy in my old age."

"You are far from old, Katie. Soppy, though…"

The teasing lilt to her voice made Kate chuckle through her lingering tears, and Lwaxana's eyes softened to a sweet sloe black as she reached up and wiped them away before kissing her fingertips and then resting them against her heart. "Will there ever be words enough to tell you how much I adore you?" she murmured as they both stood, heading closer to the water before toeing off their slippers and taking a seat.

As one, they slipped their feet into the cool water, and Kate stared at the horizon as Lwaxana began to hum lowly under her breath. There was something so quaint, so bucolic, about this moment, that the only thing she could do was to flop on her back and stare at the sky, watching the clouds drift by. "Since I'm staying, do you think that I'll be allowed to continue operating my clinic? I can't be a diplomat's wife, Lwaxana. I have to do something constructive with my time or else I'd go mad."

Lwaxana snuggled in close to her, resting her head on Kate's breasts as she drew patterns on her torso. "So, you don't want to be a kept woman?"

She gave her lover a gentle swat on her shoulder as they both dissolved into giggles. "No, I do not want to be a kept woman. I want to remain busy, and help people. After all, I don't think that everyone is going to be back to their former selves in such a short time. Do you?"

"No. I know that the scars of war will linger on for decades to come. That's why I'm glad you're here, Kate. The good you've done for my people so far is amazing, and I would never ask for you to give that up." She relaxed a little more, even though she had already guessed at Lwaxana's answer before she had given it. "I do have to ask, just once more before I let it rest. Are you going to be happy on terra firma? You've spent so much of your career on a starship, after all."

She had to pause and think for a moment, since Lwaxana had made a very good point. "You know, a part of my mind always thought that I would follow in the footsteps of Doctor Chapel, and work at Starfleet Headquarters, on Earth. I had admired her work all through med school, and assumed that that would be the plan. I learned, though, on the Enterprise, that one has to be flexible or else snap in half. So yes, I will be all right staying on Betazed, with you."

A soft sigh tumbled from Lwaxana's lips, and Kate started to run her fingers up and down her arm. "The only thing that could make me even happier than this moment would be to see my daughter again, even if she is still with William Riker."

"You aren't ever going to let that go, are you?" she teased, loving how quickly Lwaxana shook her head. "What if she shows up with Captain Picard? Are you going to leave me behind for him? I know that you go gaga for his legs…"

"Hush! Though if he does happen to come here, I probably will still act like a twitterpated teenager. I have an image to uphold, after all." One of Lwaxana's hands snaked beneath the hem of her blouse and crept upwards to cup one breast and let her thumb brush against her nipple as she yawned deeply. "Is it terrible that I want to take a nap here, with the sun shining down upon us?"

"No, it wouldn't. We didn't get as much sleep as you thought last night. Sleep now, and I'll watch over you, at least until I fall asleep as well." Lwaxana nodded and sighed again, rubbing her cheek against Kate's breasts as she yawned once more. Kate tuned into her thoughts, and so knew the exact moment that she fell asleep, using that moment to start rubbing her back gently and letting the calm of the day ease her into the heavy feeling of complete peace.


	18. Chapter 18

Their days had fallen into a sweet, easy, rhythm, and Kate found the anxiety of waiting for the other shoe to drop slowly fade away as it was replaced with the gentle sensation of being loved completely by both Lwaxana and Ian. Somehow, she had been guided home to a family, and she was so grateful for that, since that had never been that high on her life goal list. But still, here she was, naturally falling into the role of parent, and she wouldn't change anything for the world.

"Are you almost finished here for the day?"

She looked up from the padd on her desk and gave Lwaxana a tender smile as she shook her head. "I probably have about twenty minutes of work left to do. I seem to be slightly distracted today. But if you want to join me, I wouldn't say no."

"Won't that distract you even more?" she asked as she regally sank down onto the chair opposite Kate, crossing her arms in such a way as to emphasize her cleavage. Kate let out a soft groan as she shook her head, knowing that her lover was being deliberately provocative. "All right, I'll sit right here, then. I'll even be as quiet as a church mouse."

"I should never have let you read those books, Lwaxana. Earth slang just sounds wrong dropping from your lips." A trill of laughter escaped her lips as Kate bent back over her padd, trying to finish up the last of the budget needs for the quarter. That was one thing that had been so difficult to adjust to, keeping careful records of every possible item she used in her office, so that she could be properly restocked by Starfleet. Admiral Nechayev was keen on supporting her work on Betazed, since it was taking a lot of the burden off Starfleet. Still, she only hoped that perhaps she could get an assistant soon, allowing her to spend more time with Lwaxana.

"We already spend an inordinate amount of time together, darling, if we're to believe Minister Liggett," Lwaxana casually replied as she fiddled with the collar on her dress, undoing the clasp and allowing the fabric to gape a little around her breasts. Kate's nostrils flared with desire as she stared at the milky white skin that was quickly being revealed, and then the dusky rose of Lwaxana's areola that peeped above the fabric. "I mean, just imagine what we could get up to if we were alone, together, more often."

Kate gulped a little as she nodded, biting her lower lip as she squeezed her thighs together, trying to think of anything other than the desire to clear her desk of everything and take Lwaxana right then and there. " _Imzadi_ …"

"We've already used your desk for that once this week, my darling. Would your back be up for another round so soon?"

Though the look on her face was one of sweet concern, Kate could read the thoughts behind the façade, and she drew in a deep breath as she signed off on the inventory before sticking the padd in her top drawer and staring at Lwaxana heavily. Her lover's arms were already out of the sleeves of the dress, and the fabric was now pooled around her waist as her hands cupped her breasts, as if offering them up in supplication to Kate.

Groaning lowly, she stumbled from her chair and closed the distance between them, falling to her knees as she leaned in and pressed her lips against the soft skin of Lwaxana's stomach, pressing kisses there as she dragged her lips upwards. Once she had reached the underside of her breasts, Kate let her tongue sneak out and tease her, knowing that the move drove her wild with desire. One of Lwaxana's hands reached out and threaded into her curls, trying to drag her lips upwards, but Kate shook her head and pressed her lips more firmly against her breasts, using her teeth to nip ever so carefully at the tender skin there.

"Katie!" she cried out, and Kate smirked before giving in to her lover's demands and drawing one nipple between her lips and sucking strongly. Lwaxana's back bowed in an effort to get closer to Kate, and she used the movement to wrap her arms around her waist and hold her tight as she continued to love on her.

_Mother? Where are you?_

The familiar voice of Deanna Troi shocked her, and she pulled away from her lover's chest to stare up into Lwaxana's eyes, feeling panic start to overwhelm her. "Did you know she was coming?" Kate asked as she scrambled away from Lwaxana, tugging at the hem of her blouse before hurriedly trying to fix her hair. Lwaxana just chuckled as she slowly pulled her dress back up over her breasts and then slid her arms into the sleeves before righting the collar and rising elegantly to her feet.

"I had no idea that she would be coming here, Katie. Let me help you," she murmured as she stepped closer to Kate and reached out to straighten her flyaway curls. "You look beautiful, darling _Imzadi_ ," she murmured before pressed her lips to Kate's in a chaste kiss. "Now, should we go see where my errant daughter is in our home?"

She nodded dumbly, allowing Lwaxana to take hold of her hand and guide her out of the clinic and into the house proper. She wasn't proud of it, but Kate began to feel a heavy stone of anxiety begin to form in the pit of stomach, and she knew exactly when Lwaxana picked up on it, as she let go of her hand to sling her arm around her waist and bring her closer to her side. "I do love you, _Imzadi_ , I'm just so nervous about this. Whatever it is. It was so much easier with Ian, he took to me so well. But what if, what if Deanna can't see past who I was on the _Enterprise_?"

Lwaxana stopped them in the middle of the hall, turning to look at Kate. Quick tears prickled her eyes, and Lwaxana tilted her head a little before leaning in and kissing her gently. "From the pictures you're projecting, you still think of your friendship with my daughter fondly. I know that you were the one to comfort her when her Ian went to his next plane. I know that she considered her friendship with you to be important. And I don't think that the bond that you formed with her will be broken by something as silly as a relationship with me."

She swallowed thickly before giving a small nod and leaning up a little so that she could press their foreheads together, trying to sync their breaths in an effort to calm her racing heart. _Imzadi_ , she called out, and Lwaxana was instantly there, reading her hidden thoughts, letting a wave of peace wash over them both. "Thank you," she finally whispered as they broke apart, and then they were kissing once more, and she allowed herself to sink into the loving aura that surrounded her lover.

"You are most welcome, darling Katie." Lwaxana tweaked her nose, and she couldn't keep her laugh in, knowing that she had done that precisely for that reason. The noise must have caught someone's attention, as Kate could hear the sound of footfalls coming nearer them by the second. "Everything will be all right."

Taking a deep breath, Kate nodded, putting a tiny bit of space between her and Lwaxana, since she didn't want to overwhelm Deanna. Lwaxana giggled a little as she nodded, giving her a small wink as she straightened the folds of her skirt and let a playful smile curve her lips upwards. Together, they stepped forward, and Kate found some of the nerves ebbing away the closer they got to Deanna.

"Doctor Pulaski! I didn't realise that you would still be here. Have you not managed to find someone else to run the clinic so that you can return to the _Repulse_?"

Kate's eyes widened as she focused in on Captain Picard. Her hands shook a little as she turned her head back and forth slightly, trying to will the blood to keep flowing so as not to give things away. "I've actually found my work down here to be quite fulfilling, and Ambassador Troi has done so much for the clinic, that I have given up my commission with the _Repulse_ , and will be spending a majority of my time here on Betazed. Especially since it's become a home to me in the last few months."

There was a quick flash of confusion that slipped over both Picard and Riker's faces, but Deanna just looked steadily at her. _Kate? Can you hear this?_

She gave a small nod and watched the glorious smile that spread across the other woman's face as she stepped forward and wrapped her in a tight hug. "Deanna?" Will asked, his eyes squinching up as he looked between the two of them.

"We're going to go for a little walk, Will. Mother can take care of you."

Lwaxana merely raised an eyebrow at her daughter, and Kate knew that they were carrying out a short, private, conversation. Then her lover was turning her focus on Kate, giving her a tender look as she drew herself up tall. "All right, Little One, enjoy your walk around the garden with Kate. I'm certain that I can take perfect care of Jean Luc."

Kate had to carefully school her features, as Lwaxana was doing her level best to get her to giggle. "All right, we'll see you at lunch?"

"Yes."

They nodded, and then Deanna was linking arms with her and deftly leading her away from the rest of the group. It wasn't until they were out of earshot of the men that Deanna chose to speak once more. "You've become an accomplished telepath since I saw you last. Not even my father was able to hone his skill quite as well as you have. My mother is lucky to have you in her life."

"Were we that easy to figure out?"

Deanna nodded before guiding her out to the garden and over to the pond. "Now, we're going to sit here, and I am going to listen to you tell me everything that's happened. This isn't just since you came to Betazed, after all…" She blushed guiltily as she shook her head, preparing herself to tell Deanna the pertinent details of falling in love with Lwaxana.


	19. Chapter 19

Kate sighed as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Somehow, Lwaxana had talked her into wearing one of the more formal, traditional, Betazoid outfits to supper that evening, saying that everyone else was going to be fancily dressed as well. Though she had balked at the thought of wearing one of the over the top wigs that were a part of her collection, much to her lover's consternation. As she continued to look at her reflection, she felt a little more apprehensive about her appearance, and wondered what sort of impression she'd make on Picard and Riker.

"You look gorgeous, Katie, quit worrying about your appearance," Lwaxana breathed in her ear as her arms closed around her waist. She leaned back against Lwaxana and tried to nod without sighing too dramatically. "Oh, you know that you want to be a drama queen, Katherine. But just think of all the fun I'll have undressing you tonight, when we're alone in our room."

The purr in Lwaxana's voice, combined with the thoughts that she was sending Kate's way, made her squirm a little against her lover's body, and she rolled her eyes a little before turning in her arms and looking into her dark eyes. "If you're not careful, we'll be late for our dinner."

"And we just cannot have that," Lwaxana said with a slight smirk before she closed the small gap between them and captured her lips in a hungry kiss. "Though you would satiate a certain hunger in me, one that only you can fill."

She couldn't help but laugh lightly at the cheesy innuendo, and Lwaxana nodded before kissing her once more. "Your daughter never warned me that you were like this."

"Oh? What did you and Deanna talk about this afternoon?"

Kate shook her head as she stepped out of her arms and ran her hands up and down her thighs, the silky material soothing her nerves as she stared fondly at Lwaxana. "I wish that I could tell you more about our discussion, but…well, it was girl talk. I'm not trying to keep secrets from you!"

Lwaxana's face softened into a knowing smile as she took hold of her hand and nodded. "I know, my darling. And you do need to have friends you can confide in, outside me. Now, let's head down to our meal." Kate nodded in reply, tightening her hold on Lwaxana's hand as she struggled to take the tiny, elegant, steps that the voluminous skirt of her dress required. Soon, she had the movements down, and felt like she was moving with a little of the grace that Lwaxana moved with.

Finally, they were turning into the dining room, and she fixed her eyes on Ian, since he was grinning so broadly at her, sending over excited, happy, thoughts as he gestured with his head to the open seat next to him. It was then that Kate realized that once she took that spot, she would be sitting at Lwaxana's right hand, and she gulped. There was no way that that could be mistaken as anything other than a position of honor.

"Quit panicking, darling," Lwaxana murmured, her lips barely moving from the smile they were held in as she walked them over to their seats. "Mister Homm?"

He nodded as he stood and held out her chair, allowing her to sit before he pushed it back in and then repeating the gesture with Lwaxana. They shared another soft smile before Deanna cleared her throat, bringing their attention to her. "I'm sorry that we didn't give you too much notice, Mother, but we were in the area, and I couldn't pass by seeing you."

"It's nice that you finally have decided to grace us with your presence, Little One. It would have been nice to see you a few months ago, however, back when the Dominion first left us."

"It seems like you had plenty of company, Mother. Did you really need me?"

Kate felt the wounded wince that flashed through Lwaxana's mind, even as her face remained a placid mask of neutrality. Deanna must have also received the message, as a slight frown slipped across her lips and she looked down at her plate. "You are my daughter, Deanna. I will always need you."

Before another word could be said by anyone, the first dishes were presented, and Lwaxana gestured for Kate to receive it first. She knew that this was a telling gesture, as the honor was usually reserved for guests. A warm blush rose in her cheeks as she caught the look that passed between Will and Picard, and Lwaxana giggled at her in her mind. _Shush!_

Lwaxana just arched an eyebrow at her, and she tilted her head a little, giving her a tiny smirk. From next to her, she could hear Will cough, and she glanced over to see a more placid look on Deanna's face as she folded her hands primly in front of her, waiting to be served. "I made certain that your favorite dishes were served tonight, Jean Luc. It seemed only fitting."

Lwaxana batted her eyelashes at the man, and Kate had to press her lips tightly together as she watched the man squirm a little in his chair, obviously flustered by the heavy-handed flirting. Deanna glanced at her, and she could just barely tune into what she was thinking, finding her thought patterns still a little different from the ones she had become accustomed to over the last few months. Finally, the woman sighed and looked pointedly at Lwaxana, and Kate shook her head a bit, sending her the image of Jean Luc's legs, causing Deanna to gasp and then giggle.

"Is everything all right, ladies?" Will asked as he looked between the three of them. This just caused Deanna to lose it, and Kate gave him a tight smile as she desperately tried to keep from breaking out in giggles as well. Lwaxana just shook her head as she looked between the two of them, a long suffering expression on her face.

"If you two are quite done, I was looking forward to having a scintillating talk with Jean Luc about what's been happening on the _Enterprise_ in my absence."

"Mama Kate?"

Ian's words had everyone turning their gazes on him, and Kate wished that the floor would open up and swallow her whole. This was not how she had pictured telling her former captain about her relationship with Lwaxana. Ian gave her a perplexed look, his thoughts clear and loud in her mind that he had not meant to embarrass her.

"Ian, you didn't embarrass me, I promise. I was just hoping to do this a little more delicately. Sometimes, it's hard to tell the people we respect our more personal business." She reached out and smoothed his hair back a little, letting her face soften into a tender smile.

"Kate?" Will asked, and she turned to look at him, not letting the smile fade as she did so. "Does Dad know?"

"Well, it's not really any of his business, but yes, he was already here, weeks ago, with relief aid."

He nodded, and then she was looking at her former captain, trying to figure out what he was thinking. Her skills were not quite developed enough yet to read another human mind, though Lwaxana was convinced that she might be able to, given enough time. Jean Luc levelled a steady gaze on her, and she felt her lips tremble a little as she awaited his response. The longer the silence dragged on, the more off kilter she felt, and she unconsciously reached out for Lwaxana's hand, needing the support to help keep her from breaking down.

"Oh, honestly, Jean Luc! Is that really what you choose to think about?" Lwaxana asked, sounding so over the top indignant that Kate knew she was teasing. "Fine, if it's a show you want." She squeezed Kate's hand, giving her a broad wink. _We're playing with him, Katie girl. Okay?_

_Okay_. She stood at Lwaxana's urging, and tried not to yelp when her lover pulled her tightly into her arms and gave her a less than chaste kiss. In the background, she could hear Deanna laugh lightly, even as Will and Jean Luc quietly cleared their throats and shifted in their seats. _Let's not give them too much of a show, darling. Yes?_

_Fine_. Lwaxana pulled away, but not fully, as she cupped Kate's cheek and brushed her thumb against her cheekbone as she stared into her eyes. "Does that make it any clearer, Jean Luc?"

"Crystal, Lwaxana," he said, sounding thoroughly amused at the display. Kate tried to draw in slow, deep, breaths and calm her thumping heart. "And may I congratulate you on your quite joyous relationship."

Kate nodded a little as she sat once more, smoothing out her skirt and suddenly feeling much more at peace with their guests. "Thank you, Captain. I am so incredibly happy being here, with this little family that has welcomed me. Lwaxana is the star that guided me home, and I cannot wait to see what our future brings us." The brilliant smile that spread across her lover's face filled Kate with a certainty that she had made the right decision in speaking so boldly. Reaching out her hand to her, Kate blinked back tears as she nodded a little, knowing from here on out, she truly was home.

* * *


End file.
